'There is nobody here who can hurt you...'

Gerald Bickley, who has been a grave digger at Headington Cemetery for 20 years, has now hung up his pickaxe and shovel and retired. Here, he speaks to Zahra Akkerhuys about his work.

The first thing to catch the eye of visitors stepping into the grave digger's office at Headington is a picture of Diana, Princess of Wales.

The photograph looks a bit out of place hanging alongside a calendar and a picture of a page three model, on the wall of the draughty, stone-walled office, tucked just behind Headington Cemetery's chapel.

It was pinned up by Gerald Bickley, who retired from grave digging at Headington last month, after 20 years.

He remembers the day of the princess's funeral as if it were yesterday. As he has buried around 3,500 people during the time he has been at Headington, his interest in Princess Diana's funeral was partly professional.

"That was a sad day, that was. She was such a lovely girl -- it's a shame. But it was a beautiful funeral -- the flowers were lovely and it all went off just nice," he says.

Headington Cemetery, which lies between Dunstan Road and the John Radcliffe Hospital, is a picturesque spot. It overlooks the rolling fields just past the Northern by-pass yet, surprisingly, you can't hear the sound of the traffic roaring by.

It's far from the sort of cemetery you would find in a Gothic novel, with trailing ivy and stunning Victorian statuettes. Headington has a very modern feel. Row upon row of headstones, all pretty much a uniform size, mark the final resting place of countless mothers, fathers, sons and daughters who lie under the neatly-cut turf.

Ross Doyle, the nine-year-old from Blackbird Leys, who was killed by joyriders last year, is buried at Headington. His mother is one of many who visit the cemetery every day.

People of all creeds and colours lie side by side as plots are not allocated according to religion as often happens. "They're all mixed in together, but they don't seem to mind," Gerald says.

He used to think of Headington as if it were his own kingdom. Without a doubt he will miss it -- although one day he will return. He has already reserved a plot there for himself and his wife Mildred, a care assistant.

Gerald, a father-of-two and grandfather-of-eight, had been a landscape gardener for many years before he took up the post as grave digger with the city council.

He had applied for the post of groundsman but was turned down and it was only later that he was offered the grave-digging job. His wife took the call and accepted on his behalf.

After first working as part of a team, caring for several of Oxford's cemeteries, he became solely responsible for Headington Cemetery nearly 18 years ago.

For him his job was much more than being a grave digger. Instead, he embraced the role of grief counsellor and offering comfort to whoever came to the cemetery to mourn.

Gerald, 65, of Kidlington, has a quiet aura of calm. He is the sort of person you would want to confide in -- not because he will be able to make things better, but more because you know he will not judge, condemn or laugh at you. All he will do is silently listen -- and understand.

He says: "Being a grave digger was not just a gardening job because you didn't just look after the place. I spent quite a bit of time talking to the visitors. Some of them really need to talk and cry.

"Funerals are private but when people come back to visit the grave, that's when they need to talk.

"What I used to do was listen -- I couldn't bring the person back but I could listen to the relatives and help them get through it all."

Being a grave digger is tough physical work, but Gerald does not have the towering frame you might expect him to need.

He's a short man but has a lean and sturdy frame. Digging in Headington is particularly hard because of the stony soil.

"Digging a six-foot grave can take all day."

"If you're only digging a single -- when there's already someone buried 6ft down and you're going to bury someone on top of them -- then you only dig down 4ft and that doesn't take so long.

"Standard size graves are 7ft by 3ft and we quite often dig them that size because you can't always rely on the measurements given to you by the undertakers.

"If they're wrong, the grave can be a bit tight and then the coffin ends up scraping the sides as it is lowered down."

Graves are usually dug two days before a funeral and then covered to ensure no one falls into them, but accidents do happen.

He says: "I remember one woman fell into a grave. It was her fault because she was standing on the cover I had put over the grave. She was lucky she didn't hurt herself because it was only a single."

"People say working in a cemetery is creepy but I can't see that. There's nobody here who will hurt you. The thing about this job is that it's very unpredictable.

"You might come to work on a Monday expecting to have a quiet week and then, all of a sudden, you're rushed off your feet," he says.

January and February are always the busiest months of the year as the winter takes its toll on the elderly and the number of car crashes rise. But Gerald will spend this winter in the comfort of his armchair rather than out digging the stony, icy ground at Headington.

"It's the people I will miss. I've got to know some visitors really well. They come and visit three or four times a day.

"They miss their husband or wife so much that they want to be near them, and coming here helps. It's so peaceful," he says.

zahra.akkerhuys@nqo.com