A magistrate facing bombing charges lied to police to give himself time to tell his partner what he had been doing, a court was told.
Jonathan Wilkes, who admits making bombs, told Oxford Crown Court yesterday he lied to police during interviews with the intention of being released on bail.
He said he lied because he was worried police would tell his partner Annie Henriot what he had done. He wanted to confess to her first.
Wilkes made bombs found in Freeland near Witney, and Syreford, near Cheltenham, but claims it was part of an elaborate plan to commit suicide.
But he said he was too ashamed to tell Ms Henriot of his suicidal thoughts.
Simon Mayo, cross-examining Wilkes, put to him that if he died in a bombing he would be the subject of an investigation, which might conclude he made the bomb himself.
Wilkes said he was more worried about the stigma of people knowing he had committed suicide than of people thinking he was a bomber who accidentally blew himself up.
Mr Mayo asked Wilkes: "What's the point training as a magistrate if you are going to blow yourself up? Did you intend to have a long career as a magistrate?"
Wilkes replied: "I felt it was useful. If I had not gone through with my plan I would have done."
Wilkes, formerly of Wroslyn Road, Freeland, denies two charges of possession of explosives with intent to endanger life and two charges of unlawful possession of explosives.
The trial continues.
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