Now there's a job we'd all like. Working for the Good Food Guide, swanning around the country incognito, stuffing our faces in the country's best restaurants, and being paid for the privilege.
Branca, Walton Street, Jericho
OK, you might need to hand over the majority of your salary to a personal trainer to shift those endless pounds ("Of course I need to try several desserts and the cheese board") and would feel like a foie gras goose by the end of it, but everyone has to make sacrifices.
Not only are you being paid to eat, but every time you experience snotty waiters, lazy service or indifferent food, you can smile internally with glee, make some subtle scribblings in your notebook, and make or break the place.
So who are these 'inspectors'? Apparently 'the 70' are ex-chefs, ex-restaurateurs, food and wine writers and even reliable readers, tipped off by the book's bulging daily postbag.
As Oxford is such a popular city break destination, its restaurateurs must be frothing at the mouths in anticipation of a mention.
Yet only five of the city's eateries managed to find a place in this year's guide, compared to 350 for London. Some of the old staples disappeared, despite their fantastically consistent food, while others got a brief mention in the 'England's round-up' section at the back.
One reassuring entry however is Branca, the newish Jericho Italian, which knocks spots off the competition and attracts a cool crowd.
If you want a great night of intimate chatting, a good gossip with old friends or just some fabulous people-watching, then this is the place to come, and you won't break the bank in the process.
We came here for our office party at Christmas. I wouldn't dare review it based on one drunken night's revelling, except to say that with a good main course each and bountiful supplies of wine, coffee, dessert and liqueurs, we only paid £20 each a head, which seemed indecently good value.
We had a good stab at trying most of the menu -- from pizzas and risottos to the salads, breads, meat dishes, and desserts.
The blurry memories that have survived that evening show that while the revellers are still raving about the pizzas ("one of the best I've ever had") my boss recalled mistily, and the saffron rissotto special, which was so good one of my colleagues almost licked her plate clean, the meat mains were less memorable.
Those who had the meat dishes such as the free range corn-fed chicken with spiced potatoes and aioli (£10.75), or the porchetta, slow roasted and herbed free range Oxfordshire belly pork with mash and gravy (£11.95), said the meals were passable, enjoyable even, but quite forgettable -- ie they didn't shine. The moral of the story being when in an Italian restaurant eat Italian -- you can't go wrong with the pizza, pasta and risotto.
To prove my point I revisited with a friend on Saturday night. Gorgeous waiting staff meet you at the chrome and glass bar where you can sup cocktails and whisper seductively to each other, before gliding to your table.
Maybe it's the lighting here that makes it all so intimate and seemingly decadent, but polite conversation seems to go out of the window the more the lights are dimmed. No sitting up and worrying about your ps and qs here.
And so on to the food, or the stone baked pizzas. We had one each of the smoked mozzarella, roast peppers, grilled courgette and oven roast tomatoes (£8.85) and the pepperoni, fontina cheese, chilli and spinach (£8.65), with a side salad of rocket and parmesan (£2.95), ordered a 'pot' of red house wine (£7.75 which was two-thirds of a bottle, weirdly), and got on with the complimentary focaccia and olive oil while gossiping intently.
The pizzas when they arrived soon afterwards were enormous, crisp and beautifully thin. The vegetarian version's peppers and courgette were chargrilled and blended indecently with the smoked mozzarella, the pepperoni offering was fiery and delicious. In an indecent amount of time we looked down, mid-conversation to discover we had totally devoured them both, without even a wince or whimper.
Rather shame-faced we had a quick coffee and dashed. But I had been right. They are the best pizzas I've had in town in the past 12 months and would take some beating. Maybe I'd better polish up my CV, or at least phone a personal trainer.
Branca, 111 Walton Street, Jericho. 01865 556501.
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