Simon Carr’s accounts of raising his sons as a widower are not without their lighter moments, writes Reg Little.

CAN things really get any better for a middle-aged man than to see himself played on the big screen by Hollywood hunk Clive Owen?

The Oxford author and journalist Simon Carr recently had that experience – but it left him emotionally spent, rather than elated.

For the film charts what happened when the Simon family was shattered by the death of his wife Susie from cancer.

“Did Mummy die last night?” he was asked 15 years ago by his five-year-old son Alexander, a moment forever burned into the writer’s memory.

Recently, he heard that same heartbreaking question, only this time watching actors recreating that unbearable scene for the world to see.

Simon, 57, who lives in north Oxford, is of course flattered to see his younger self portrayed by Owen, who has previously starred as King Arthur and Sir Walter Raleigh.

But he admits for him and his youngest son the experience was harrowing.

“Not to put to fine a point on it,” reflects Simon, “it turned us all inside out.”

The Boys Are Back may be about a family’s tragic loss, yet it is also an uplifting, and, yes, frequently hilarious account of Simon’s efforts to bring up two boys in a home bereft of any female influence.

The journey from shell-shocked widower to hands-on dad, trying to bring his family back from the brink, took place in New Zealand, where he had gone to live with Susie and their baby son, after she became ill.

The film is based on Simon’s book The Boys Are Back in Town, published almost a decade ago, which gives a compelling account of life as a single parent having to make the rules up as he went along.

He offers a glimpse of what it was like in his memoir. “We’ve known Sunday nights when you can’t see the carpet for video boxes, takeaway packaging, clothes, plastic games, cats, goggles, guns, popcorn, plates, cutlery, papers, paintbrushes, cushions, soft toys, comics, newspapers, dart launchers, picture books, Lego and game CDs called Living Dead, Krypt, Resident Evil 2.”

This novel approach to parenting was based on a philosophy summed up as “just say yes”. It meant allowing his sons to ride around the house on their bikes or to leap into a full bath from a window sill.

Simon sent a copy of his book, which has just been republished by Arrow, to Peter Bennett-Jones, the Oxford-based film producer whose films include Billy Elliott.

“ It was a bit presumptuous, “ said Carr. “He gave it to his wife Ali who said, ‘You’ve got to make it into a film’.”

Over pints in their local, the Rose and Crown in north Oxford, the project was developed, but it has taken more than eight years to complete.

The film ended up being shot in South Australia, rather than New Zealand, and its central figure is a sports journalist.

Simon returned to England so Alexander and Hugo, his son from a previous marriage, could complete their schooling in Oxford.

Alexander, 20, who like his brother went to d’Overbroeck’s College in Oxford, studies at Brighton University, while Hugo, 26, is doing a PhD at Imperial College, London.

As for dad, a political journalist on The Independent, he is now married to José Strawson, director of the linguistic institute Alliance Francaise d’Oxford.

Simon says he was greatly moved by Owen’s performance, but are there any similarities between the two of them?

“It’s what I look like on the inside...”

The Ultimate Picture Palace on Jeune Street, Oxford, is screening The Boys Are Back with a Q & A with Simon Carr on Friday, February 26 at 7pm.

Details: 01865 245288 or www.ultimate picturepalace.com