Bereavement is our experience of grief when someone we care about has died. It isn't just one feeling but a range of different emotions. We feel them most in the months – often lasting up to two years, sometimes longer – after the death.

After this, according to The Royal College of Psychiatrists, although life is very different, most people manage to come to terms with their loss.

What feelings am I likely to have?

There is no ‘standard’ way of grieving. Cultures and individuals have their own beliefs and ceremonies. However, they all share many experiences.

You might feel:

Numb: Particularly in the few hours or days following the death, you feel simply stunned, as though you can't believe it has actually happened.

Agitated: After a few days the numbness usually wears off. You feel a sense of agitation, of pining or yearning for the dead person. You want somehow to find them, even though you know you can't. You find it difficult to relax, concentrate or sleep properly. You may dream, see fleeting visions or hear the voice of your loved one.

Angry: You can feel very angry — towards doctors and nurses who did not prevent the death, towards friends and relatives who did not do enough, or even towards the person who has died.

Guilty: You may go over all the things you would have liked to have said or done, even wondering if you could have prevented the death, even though itis usually beyond anyone’s control.

Relieved: You may feel relieved if your loved one has died after a painful or distressing illness. This is not callous — it is common.

Sad: After the weeks of strong feelings, you may gradually become quietly sad and withdrawn. You feel less agitated but suffer more periods of depression. These peak between four and six weeks later.

Reflective: For several months, other people may see you as spending a lot of time just sitting, doing nothing. In fact, you are thinking about the person you have lost, going over in your mind your memories of the times you had together..

Letting go: You finally “let go” of the person who has died and start a new sort of life. The sadness lifts, you sleep better, start to feel more energetic.

What if I can't come to terms with it?

You may have problems if you can't grieve properly at the time of your loss because of family or business commitments. Some people don’t appear to grieve at all and return quickly to their normal life but then, years later, have odd physical symptoms or spells of depression.

You may start to grieve, but get stuck. The early sense of shock and disbelief goes on. Years may pass and still you find it hard to believe that the person you loved is dead.

Bereavement can affect your physical health, with an increased risk of cancer and heart disease. Some people may die soon after their partner or spouse has died.

What help can I get?

If you find it hard to come to terms with the loss of a loved one, voluntary or religious organisations may be able to help.

Meeting and talking to people who have been through the same experience might be enough. If not, you might want to see a counsellor or psychotherapist, in a group or on your own. Your GP can help you to find one.

If the depression gets worse, affecting your appetite, energy and sleep, your GP should be able to arrange counselling or antidepressants. If despite treatment you are still depressed you may need to see a psychiatrist.

How can I help someone else?

Spend time with the bereaved person so they feel less alone..

Let them, if they want to, cry with you and talk about their feelings. Don't tell them to pull themselves together. Help out with practical things and try to be around at painful times. .

For more information, visit the website: www.rcpsych.ac.uk where you can download a helpful leaflet on the subject of bereavement.