I have written quite enough for one week – quite enough for ever, some might say. So I am delighted to hand over the next few paragraphs of this column to a reader, Mr David Wilkinson. He writes: “The mangling of the English language by train operator First Great Western has reached new peaks of excruciation with the erection of replacement information screens at Oxford station. This week I noticed that one of these displays announces ‘The Next Fastest Trains’. “Now, most GCSE English students can tell you that a superlative adjective can apply only to a single person or thing that in some way surpasses all others. So how, I wondered, can there be a whole succession of ‘fastest trains’? “But perhaps I misunderstand. Maybe FGW wish to inform us of the arrival of those trains which are almost – but not quite – the fastest. The also-rans, the next fastest trains. “Surely not. “Ah! but now I see. Just as London Underground now considers that all its services are ‘Good’ provided they are not at an almost complete standstill, so now it appears that all FGW trains are ‘Fast’, no matter how crawling their pace. Some of course are ‘Faster’ – and, yes, a few are therefore ‘Fastest’. “Good try, FGW. But is this the bestest you can do?”