My freinds and I clambered ungracefully from my knackered old Peugeot out into the car park next to Witney Market Square last Friday.

From here we began to walk in the general direction of the bright and bustling hive of activity that appeared to be Izi.

My friends suddenly started accelerating as though they thought they might be being followed, and at the same time my girlfriend's nails dug into my hand. What did they know that I didn't?

And then I worked it out — they were cosmopolitan and this was distinctly rural...

My protestations on this point did little to quell my friends' fears and we were inside Izi before you could shout 'Big up 2 da Witney West Side massif'.

Once inside, it was a hectic scene of party girls and party boys, then the not so nice girls, followed by the groups of guys that you really would do well not to make eye contact with, whatever your sex.

This was around half past ten and we already felt uncomfortable — there was still plenty of time for some of these guys to sink another nine pints each, and I wasn't prepared to stick around until the end.

Instead I got the drinks in. The cheapest pint of lager was an astonishing £2.90; more expensive than some of the best weekend clubs in Oxford.

However, the girls in the group seemed to be impressed by the price of their vodka and mixers, so credit where it's due. But I couldn't stop thinking that drinking a near-to-£3 pint of Carling in this place was like skinny-dipping in the Amazon river — why would you want to put yourself through it?

It is, after all, full of leering types with their eye on your bits.

We made our way out of the venue and back to the old banger, and headed back to Oxford for a night of proper partying!

Our Izi experience can thus be summed up as follows: The Good. It was a nice change to go out somewhere that wasn't Oxford, regardless of the venue. Also, some people were obviously enjoying themselves at Izi.

The Bad. You have to pay to get in, when it's essentially just a huge bar with a DJ.

The Ugly. Some — and ONLY some — of the clientele. Although I've been told to come here again on a Saturday night for a very different experience.

Tomorrow night, please join us at the Ha! Ha! for drinks and what now must be our famous weekly Oxford Mail photoshoot!

Drinking a near-to-£3 pint in this place was like skinny-dipping in the Amazon river — why would you do it?