Looking at Sarah Edwards sat amid the hustle and bustle of her colourful family home in Lower Heyford, you'd never guess that nine years ago she was crying herself to sleep.
But then neither would you suspect that her two chatty, confident sons, 12-year-old Sam and nine-year-old Jo, are the product of a single-parent family.
Which is why Sarah, 40, is in a brilliant position to offer practical advice on surviving what can be a lonely, dark and rather frightening time. And also why the Oxford Times journalist was the perfect choice to write Single Parents: The Essential Guide, having weathered the storm and come out smiling.
The resulting easy-to-read, simple, no-nonsense book doesn't tell you what to do or offer professional advice, but bases itself on a 'been there, done that' formula.
"It's like a navigation guide to help you find the right way through the maze that are the early days of single parenting," Sarah explained. "So it starts with 'what to do now' and is a natural progression from there all the way up to 'dating again'."
Sarah was in labour in Banbury's Horton Hospital car park with her second child when she discovered her marriage was over. Her husband left her soon afterwards, leaving her to bring up their baby and toddler alone. The early days of single parenting were a dark cloud she shudders to remember. But knowing what she does now, she is also aware that realising other people were going through the same thing, and being able to deal with it on a purely practical level, would have helped immensely.
So whether it's learning how to plunge back into the job market, work out a budget, coping when a pipe bursts or dealing with your ex, Single Parents: The Essential Guide has got it covered.
"I now realise I've done everything in reverse," Sarah said. "I was married for my 20s and single for my 30s, but I think it's important to say that the boys' father and I have a good working relationship."
Of course, at the start this was a different story and Sarah holds her hands up to learning the hard way. "I was terrified when I became single parent, because before I had children I was independent and working as a TV producer in London. After we got married, I became a stay-at-home mum, so I had nothing when we split up — no money, no job and a house I couldn't afford.
"But the key to single parenting is not to wallow, because you simply don't have time. You have to get up each morning and face the world for your children, because it's not their fault.
"To start with, I worried about how I would pay the mortgage and cope on my own. The problems seemed insurmountable, because I felt old and washed-up and I didn't think I would ever work again.
"To set the scene, I only had £40, so I spent £20 on petrol, £20 on food and went and got a job. I couldn't afford childcare, so I had to beg favours from friends until I was up and running. I've still got the list I wrote, actually, of everything I wanted to achieve in the next five years and I did get there," she smiled proudly.
"But it wasn't until I went back to work that I realised it was going to be all right. I always knew I was a good mother, but that was not enough, because I needed to re-establish who I was.
"And I was so worried about what people would think of me as a single parent," she laughed, tipping her head back, "which amazes me now, because I can't imagine life any other way."
Sarah is now a successful PR consultant, freelance journalist and author, and has also been asked to set up a single-parenting course. So is she proud of herself? "It's been cathartic and sad at the same time, writing Single Parents: The Essential Guide, but it has also been therapeutic and grounding at the same time."
So what's her advice to anyone who is going through the same thing at the moment? "Apart from buying the book?" Sarah laughed. "You have to be organised, practical and focused as a single parent and as positive as possible in what can be heartbreaking circumstances.
"And some mornings it's like putting on a big theatrical production — you get up, put on your make-up and smile and just get on with your day, even if you feel like you can't get out of bed. You just have to get on with it.
"But don't worry, we still have good days and bad days. I'm not sure it gets any easier as the kids get older, because you just deal with different issues, but you always have to think about the children because they are the most important thing and they do not need a scared parent, they need someone who's all right. And that's what I've been doing for the past nine years, making sure we're all right."
Single Parents: The Essential Guide is available in all good bookshops, or order online at Amazon or go to www.need2knowbooks.co.uk.
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