We got our first children's party invitation for the whole family.
I was a bit surprised when Himself said he wanted to go.
But when I told him about it he said: "Yeah, that'll be nice."
What
A
Disaster!
Things started to go pear-shaped before we'd even arrived.
We got there 10 minutes late and the car park was rammed.
Anxious not to miss the start of the children's entertainer show, Himself roared into the car park just as a woman in a people carrier was coming out.
She was trying to get through, he wasn't going anywhere and then she did it - scraped her car on the side of a wall.
As I tried to crawl under the seat, she drove past, glowering at us.
"Don't worry about that, jump out and get in there!" Himself shouted, all commando-like.
Once inside it was wall to wall mayhem.
Littl'un got stuck into the balloons and then in came Himself.
He noticed right away that there was a distinct lack of other dads.
And sat down - right next to the woman who had scraped her car in the car park.
Then the entertainment started and Daddy discovered a new level of horror.
Singing, dancing, playing instruments - all at about 1000 decibels.
There he sat looking like he wanted to commit Haroi Kari.
And he wasn't the only one.
Just a few minutes into the singing Littl'un decided she hated it.
No, she destested it.
And all she wanted to do was play with those balloons.
When she couldn't - she shrieked.
To cut a long story short, the three of us ended up out in the corridor.
Littl'un was pleased - she had a balloon.
Himself looked traumatised.
"People must be thinking she's a right nightmare," he said, gesturing to our child.
I laughed.
But he was serious.
"All children have bad days," I told him.
"It's not the end of the world."
"This is terrible," he said.
"Why don't you go home and come and pick us up later?" I said.
I haven't seen such a look of joy on his face since Ronnie O'Sullivan beat some Hong Kong guy in the Snooker World Final.
But I must have looked a little dejected because he said he'd stick it out.
When we left, about half an hour later, Littl'un was right as rain.
We were both shellshocked.
"I think maybe you should go on your own in future," he said.
I'm inclined to agree.
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