Some people may have heard that certain sections of our community have been calling for so-called 'Sharia Law' to be imposed on the country.
However, I feel many may have been unnecessarily alarmed by this, not really understanding what it would mean.
For instance, there would be a strict dress code for females and certain dietary restrictions.
Women, for example, when going out in public, would have to wear a pair of white stilettoes, short 'belt'-style skirts revealing mammoth tree-thick legs, and a cropped top showing a pale, ghostly white, slab of flesh bulging out of their tops and hanging over the waistband of their skirts, preferably pierced.
On religious days, when not out dancing round their handbags, they may wear pink sweat pants and a white shell suit top.
Diet will be confined to late night kebabs, minced rectum burgers and a non stop supply of alcopops.
Oh, hang on. That's Sharon Law. My mistake.