Retired Oxford soldier, 87, among UK's oldest trans women

Dee Hawley lived as David for most of her life before finally coming out as trans in her late 70s.

She has since undergone breast implant surgery but has so far held back on full reassignment surgery.

Before coming out as trans, the dad-of-three lived in Oxford with her wife of 62 years, before moving to Moseley in Birmingham.

Dee, a former social worker and soldier, said she initially had no desire to become a woman but became fascinated by female clothes in 2011.

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She came out to her wife and they split up on good terms a year later.

Dee, who has two grandchildren, has been living full-time as a woman ever since and says she hopes other older trans people will be inspired to come out.

She said: “The interesting thing about me is that I had no inclination throughout my life until I was in my early 60’s.

"Most people always have some inclination when they’re children, they often suppress it.

"It starts in all sorts of ways. I’ve only ever met one other person that has been like me.

“It creeps up on you and takes hold of you.

"When people say ‘why do you want to do a thing like that?’, well I didn’t want to. It comes on you so strong, you just want to be that all the time.

“At the beginning you’re hiding it. It was still terrifying that people would find out. It kind of started gradually.

"I couldn’t stop myself. I must have been in my 60’s and it became an issue in my early 70s.

“I came out to my wife in 2011. I’ve been wanting to go out and do things for a couple years prior to that, up to then it had been building up.

“You start to get bits of clothing and hide them away. When the wife's gone out you start to dress out.

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"By the end you want to go out, but that’s a really scary thing.

"I think I was lucky because it was hard emotionally, but I was older and mature and I was confident in myself as a person.

"Unlike young people who are going through a string of emotions.

“When I moved here I made an important decision, I decided that I was most definitely not doing anything wrong.

"I was going to be proud of myself as a person, I considered myself as a good person.

“I didn’t get the feeling I wanted to be a woman until I was later in life. I want to live my life as a woman and look like a woman.

"It’s a spectrum. One end there’s a pure female and then there’s a pure male. Then there’s all the in between.

"We’re all individual and all in our own place. I was just going to be myself and live my life as anyone else.”

Dee spent £4,000 on breast implant surgery in 2016 but says she wouldn’t go further with operations or take hormones due to her age.

Her family and friends have supported her in her drastic transformation but she says she wouldn’t change it for the world.

She added: “When I came out, which is the most difficult thing I've had to in my life,
she tried to live with it, but she couldn’t bless her.

"But we settled amicably. That was quite mature. I’ve got three children, two of them have embraced me so well.

"And in that respect I’m incredibly lucky and in that respect I'm quite unusual. They go out with me without hesitation.

“I started giving myself little tasks to do to go forward, to go in the shop or the cafe or the ladies toilets.

"Bit by bit, I built up my confidence quickly. The other thing that worries you is your male voice, but then I thought to hell with it. That’s what I did.

“I told my very best friend Michael who I have been since childhood, when I told him he said ‘never mind, we’re mates’.

“There are some people who are older than me, but I don’t come across it much. I'm proud of what I’ve been able to achieve as a normal person.

“Going back, I got to accept gay people. When I was younger it was still illegal. You became aware of that and I became more liberal about it.

"I didn’t know about trans at all moving through my life.

“I got a computer and was surprised to find there was a whole community out there like me. It was encouraging.”

Dee’s advice for anyone with similar feelings is to just go with it, no matter the age and to "believe in your right to live".

She added: “I'm proud of it, how I look for my age. People do tell me how amazing I look for my age, I like to be glamorous. I like colourful things. I’m young in my head.

“I’ve had one or two rude remarks made in the street, more in the past than now.

"The worst thing is sometimes you get young men in cars who shout the most obscene things. It’s not nice to have that shouted at you.

“I’d say believe in yourself, whatever age, and believe in your right to live your life like anyone else. It is your right to live it. They should not be put off by age.

“You’re embarrassed about it in a way, you’re a little bit ashamed. You have to get over that.

"When you realise that you can’t help doing that, it’s a strange period to go through. It’s an emotional rollercoaster.

“If ever anyone had said this would happen 30 years ago, I would’ve said no way.

"That’s the most amazing thing about it. People say it’s not natural, but it is a natural thing to do.”