Parents speak two years after death of schoolgirl daughter

Before they started, the grief-stricken parents took photographs of its layout – the way Neve had left it before she went to school for the final time.

When the carpeting was finished, they put back every pen and pencil in its proper place.

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Neve’s Fitbit was returned to her dressing table, her mobile phone plugged in to charge, and her calendar was put back on the wall, turned to the same month as it had been left.

Two years later, as her family marked the second anniversary of her death on Sunday, March 12, Neve’s bedroom remains untouched.

Mrs Parlett, 43, said: “We were very precise about doing that because that’s how she wanted it. We keep the door open and every day we go into speak to her.

“Neve had chosen the carpet in her room, and she was really excited. Her room was exactly how she wanted it. She’d asked for certain furniture. She was getting out of her little girl stage.”

On the morning of March 11, 2021, Neve left her house in Harwell and travelled to Didcot Girls School.

Neve was excited to return to school after three months of online learning during the covid pandemic (Image: Mary Parlett)

The year seven pupil was excited as she got ready. The previous day had been her first back at school since Christmas, following three months of online learning caused by the covid pandemic.

She was helped to put on her backpack by her mother, who was getting ready to go to work as deputy manager of a children’s nursery.

Mrs Parlett said: “She had long, lovely, brown wavy hair. It got stuck under her backpack and I helped her get it out and she said stop fussing.

“She had been at home during lockdown, and it was only the second time she was allowed back at school. She had had a lovely first day and was so excited to go back.”

Neve and her brother Lewis, now 16, left for school. Mrs Parlett went to her nursery and Mr Parlett, 45, drove to London for his job as an engineer.

At around 12:20am, Mrs Parlett received a phone call from Neve’s school.

She said: “We were only told the very bare minimum. They just said she had collapsed in the playground. We just thought she had fallen.

“I said I would just come to the school because it’s only round the corner, but they said they would send the police escort. That’s when I started panicking.

“When they arrived, I asked if they had any more information and they said that she had gone into cardiac arrest. It was out of the blue. I was in absolute shock.”

Mrs Parlett phoned her husband, who met her at the John Radcliffe Hospital in Oxford.

Once there, they were told by the neurology team that their daughter had an inoperable brain aneurysm.

The doctors cried as they told the parents there was nothing they could do.

Mr Parlett said: “They were in tears, and we were in tears. It made us realise they were human as well.

“At the time, we were like, ‘there must be something you can do’. We were just desperate for anything.”

Neve was kept in a coma while her immediate family – Mrs Parlett’s mother and three siblings, Mr Parlett’s parents and brother, and Lewis – gathered at the hospital.

At the end, as they said goodbye, Neve’s parents and brother held her hands and sang You Are My Sunshine around the hospital bed.

On March 12, 13 hours after she collapsed in the school playground, Neve passed away.

Mrs Parlett said: “It was very peaceful. She just slipped away, and it was just like she was asleep. We just couldn’t get our heads round it. We felt any minute she would wake up.

“When you have something this traumatic happen to you, you feel like you are almost living in a bubble and the concept of time completely changes.

“I can’t comprehend that it’s been two years and that we’ve survived two years.”

Mr and Mrs Parlett and their son Lewis, 16, said goodbye to Neve in her hospital bed before she died (Image: Mary Parlett)

On the second anniversary of Neve’s death, her family planted a pear tree, apple tree and primroses at Neves spinney – a two acre plot of woodland planted the year she was born.

They also repainted a memorial bench which stands in Harwell Recreation Ground. The family visit the bench once or twice a week to lay flowers and sit.

Other monuments stand in Neve’s memory. A memorial garden was created at Didcot Girls School, and, on last year’s anniversary, yarn bomber Yarnsy created a post-box topper in tribute.

On top, she crocheted a sheep – Blue - Neve’s favourite of the 60 the family still keep in a rented field in Upton.

Mrs Parlett said: “If you could tame a sheep, Neve managed to do it. She could call it and it would eat out her hand. It was quite the site seeing a young child do that. She was the sheep whisperer.”

Mrs Parlett has returned to work since her daughter’s death. She said the family were still trying to navigate the “new normal” without Neve.

She said: “You have to get back out there as much as it hurts every day that we’re living without Neve. But it’s essential to keep going.

“We just take each minute as it comes and keep one foot in front of the other.”

Mr Parlett said he treasures every photo and memory he has of Neve. He urged others to appreciate their families in the same way.

He said: “A lot of people say you don’t know what you have until its gone. We always appreciated our family time and I’m so grateful we took all those photos and we will have those forever.

“Appreciate what you have got and cherish those around you. Don’t waste time with arguments and stuff like that.

“We try not to waste any moments. Even on the crappy days, you try and look for the positives and the good in everything because that’s what Neve did.”

The family said they were also grateful to Helen and Douglas House for their help following Neve’s death.

They will hold a barn dance on April 1 in support of the hospice charity, and Mrs Parlett’s friends Vicky Lay and Clare Barton are running the London Marathon for the cause.

To donate to their efforts, visit: https://www.justgiving.com/team/vickyandclare