Today's lesson, children, is observing how fast I can leap out of your way, as Mummy pushes you both in your double buggy on the narrow footpaths crossing Folly Bridge in Oxford.

Watch in amazement as I leap to my right, testing the airbags of passing motorists, then sit there with open mouths as I leap to my left, off the bridge, landing on a courting couple navigating a punt below.

Yes, children, your mummy seems to think she has right of way on public footpaths, pushing her way through hordes of tourists, pensioners and even clanging wheels with the odd cyclist or two.

Of course, children, you both love all this excitement, but please don't encourage mummy by screaming "faster, faster!".

As for me, and other unfortunates who encounter such infant carriers on our footpaths, we live in hope that either the council makes them wider, or that mummy adopts some manners and gives way now and again.

Sweet dreams, children!

CHRIS BOSWELL, Williamson Way, Rose Hill, Oxford