If everything had gone to plan you would be reading about an affordable car capable of covering 70 miles per gallon.
One glance at the picture above will tell you the scheme went slightly awry.
For reasons I won't bore you with, instead of the Volkswagen Polo BlueMotion, I took charge of a Touareg which could dispatch diesel at the rate of 17mpg.
It is not often you can describe a Volkswagen as awesome, but the epithet perfectly sums up this monstrous beast.
You can take to the road in a Touareg for about £30,000, but the aptly-named V10 TDI Altitude is literally the peak of the model range - in power, presence and price.
The 5.0-litre, 303 horsepower engine is capable of delivering fearsome power, but there are a mass of electronic systems fitted to keep this mighty vehicle on the straight and narrow.
The Altitude model was initially introduced to commemorate the world record set by a Touareg in Chile, climbing to the highest point on Earth that a vehicle can reach - 6,080 metres.
It is now a permanent addition to the range, offering striking looks with its Volkswagen body-styling pack; privacy' tinted rear windows and imposing alloy wheels.
It is that stylish upmarket appearance that makes it a perfect vehicle to sweep through the majestic grounds of a stately home and for the past three years, the Touareg has been the official car sponsor of the Blenheim International Horse Trials, though it will not be back at this year's event.
In all trim levels, the Touareg is luxuriously appointed, with six airbags; air conditioning; ten-speaker stereo with CD player; and large alloy wheels. The entry-level Touareg is available with 2.5-litre TDI and 3.0-litre V6 TDI engines.
Despite its formidable appearance it is an accomplished off-road, as well as on-road, vehicle. This is thanks to a host of all-terrain features: short front and rear overhangs; hill-hold function; traction control linked to an auto-locking centre differential; full-time four-wheel drive; hill descent assist; and simple high and low-ratio gear selection to help find the right gear for the right terrain.
Most 4x4s, of course, spend most of their lives on the road and here the Touareg delivers a relaxed, luxurious ride at speed and an easy-to-manage vehicle even in busy traffic.
While waiting to join the A40 at the Wolvercote roundabout I found myself in a Woodstock Road rush-hour queue that included two Toyota Land Cruisers ahead and a Land Rover Discovery behind.
If there really is a move towards greener cars and away from 4x4s, then no one has told the drivers of Oxford.
Auto facts Volkswagen Touareg V10 TDI Altitude
- Price: £58,000
- Ins group: 19
- Fuel consumption (Combined): 22.4mpg
- Top speed: 143mph
- Length: 475.4cm/187.2in
- Width: 192.8cm/75.9in
- Luggage capacity: 19.6 cu ft
- Fuel tank capacity: 22 gallons/100 litres
- CO2 emissions: 333g/km
- Warranty: 3 years/60,000 miles
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