One of the most curious features of divorce trends over the past 30 years is that divorces have tended to become less acrimonious and less traumatic - except for the over-50s, writes John Arnott When the children are growing up and starting to leave home the parents will look at each other and contemplate what the future holds.

Sometimes this will be liberating for the couple. They can start planning to do what they always dreamed about. Travelling. Pursuing a holiday together. Moving abroad.

But for many others the examination will be disturbing and deeply unsettling. At the risk of sounding banal or clichéd I would like to examine one or two of the classic cases of marriage breakdown for the over-50s There will be the working husband who has kept himself fit and whose wife has centred her life round the children, letting herself go in the process. The couple will have drifted apart and have little left in common.

The husband is very likely to seek a trade in for a newer model. The wife will be left stranded, without a centre to her life and without a partner.

This scenario is terribly upsetting for the wife, particularly in our culture where it is significantly easier for an older man to find a new partner than an older woman, particularly one who has let herself go.

The next scenario is very different. This is one where the husband has probably been dominant and controlling.

The wife has stayed with him because of the children. The children have sided with the wife. The husband has always demeaned and belittled his wife. Now she is being given a chance for freedom.

This can be an exciting and liberating time for the wife. She may retrain and start a new career. She will have not only a new lease of life but may well feel that she really has a chance to live for the first time.

The husband in these circumstances is likely to be very bitter. He will complain that he has worked himself to the bone all these years, only to be deserted by his wife and children.

He is likely to be chauvinistic and to lack self knowledge. His mindset is in the past and he is likely to be passed over and live out his days embittered not only against his wife, but probably his children as well, and the female species in general.

Another scenario is those marriages which end sadly but with respect. A couple will realise that they have drifted apart and that they no longer have the love to sustain their relationship.

Sometimes the marriage will limp along until one or the other meets someone else. Sometimes they simply agree to part.

The sadness of a failed relationship is tempered by an understanding that this does not mean that individually they are failures and that there is a future which will be different and which could be very bright.

One of the sad features of our world is the decline in long-term emotional commitments.

Those of a younger generation may risk less, but have less chances of gaining from a really happy partnership. But they certainly lessen the trauma caused by the collapse of a relationship to which a spouse has devoted his or her life.

Just as the pattern of divorce and marriage breakdown for the over-50s has special features, so also do the financial problems thrown up by the breakdown and the likely structure of the financial settlement arising from the breakdown.

John Arnott is a family law specialist based in Burford. A solicitor for 30 years, specialising exclusively in family law for about 20 of those, he has obtained specialist accreditation in family law from the Law Society and Resolution, and now tends to concentrate on cases, often complex, involving the financial aspects of divorce and relationship breakdown