'I love the smell of chemo in the morning . . ." Terminal cancer is the unlikely catalyst for a comical journey of self-discovery for two old codgers in The Bucket List. If Beaches and Terms of Endearment are the pinnacle of emotionally manipulative chick flicks, then Rob Reiner's new feature is the testosterone-fuelled equivalent, wringing every last tear from its contrived set-up.

Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman are perfectly cast as the polar opposites, flung together on a grand adventure that takes in the Taj Mahal, the Great Pyramid of Khufu and the Serengeti. But they are on acting autopilot throughout, happily playing to type as a charismatic and cynical ladies man and a calm and caring family man, who discover that the greatest regret in life are the experiences that you let slip by.

Billionaire entrepreneur Edward Cole (Nicholson) has made his fortune by bleeding the US healthcare system dry. Diagnosed with terminal cancer and given just a year to get his affairs in order, Edward ends up in a room in one of his own facilities, shared with auto mechanic Carter Chambers (Freeman), who faces the same gloomy prognosis. After a fractious introduction, smoothed over by Edward's assistant Thomas (Sean Hayes), the two old-timers bond and decide to embrace Carter's idea of a bucket-list: pipe dreams to achieve in the little time they have left.

Seeing as Edward is filthy rich, money really is no object and the world is their oyster. The two men embark on a whirlwind round-the-world expedition, sampling the fine cuisine of the French Riviera and jumping into the cockpit of racing cars, or making a tandem parachute jump. Carter's loving wife Virginia (Beverly Todd) grows concerned about how little time her husband is spending with his family and begs Edward to cut short the grand adventure.

"Give him back to me!" she pleads. "I'm prepared for my husband to die. I'm just not prepared to lose him while he's still alive."

However, the men's lust for life brings them ever closer as they face the demons of the past.

The Bucket List is sporadically amusing and inoffensive.

Nicholson and Freeman seem to be having fun, the former relishing the choice one-liners in Justin Zachman's script ("I love being married... I love being single too. Hard to do both at the same time!"), the latter spouting sombre truths like "You measure yourself by the people who measure themselves by you."

The film's budget evidently didn't stretch to visiting most of the places on Edward and Carter's death list: green screen work is almost laughable in places as the actors try to convince us they are really chewing the fat atop a pyramid.

The tear-jerking finale leaves no hoary ole cliche unturned.

When Carter tells his companion, "I've taken baths deeper than you," he might as well be commenting on Reiner's film.