Sir - While walking up at the Uffington White Horse yesterday, it came to my knowledge that the beautiful Plane Tree in Norfolk Square that I spent the night in has been cut down.

Unfortunately, now that I'm working as a solar panel installer, I don't have time to sit up trees that need to be saved all day long, but I had hoped that the council might have seen more sense.

This is a spiteful act of vandalism by the city's planning officers; they have felled what was a magnificent example of a pollution-absorbing Plane Tree and without dutifully letting councillors know first. This egregious action is highly indicative of Mr Crofton-Briggs and Murray Hancock's complete disregard for the aesthetic sensibilities of Oxford's residents and the utter lacking of their own. I am alarmed by what they seem to be permitted to do to this city.

However, while I am saddened by the loss to Oxford of one of it's natural beauties, I am heartened by what it is now my humble duty to reveal: as tradition has it, every tree has it's Dryad or tree spirit and they will only reveal their identities to the receptive in the dead of night.

Once a tree has been laid low, the wood nymph is unleashed and its name may be divulged.

Thus, I am honoured and duty-bound to reveal the Norfolk Square Plane Tree's fairy name.

This is a powerful male tree sprite, well-known for his nature-driven shannanigans and who historically only appeared covered in leaves in Oxford during the celebrations on May 1.

I shall whisper his name quietly for everyone to hear: our pagan patron's name is 'Jack In The Green'.

Bruce Heagerty, Oxford