I tried eating only Raymond Blanc recipes but it ended in disaster

I’m a lazy chef, there’s no denying it. I like quick, yummy recipes that require little-to-no work.

But it does mean I rarely have Instagram-worthy meals (unless I’m going out).

So, I decided to eat like a queen for (what I hoped would be) a week and have boujee food inspired by Oxfordshire’s favourite celebrity chef Raymond Blanc.

That man is a legend in the kitchen and his dishes always look incredible.

So, I scoured his website to find the best (and quickest) recipes.

Here’s how it went:

Sunday

On Sunday’s I meal plan my week ahead. I typically go food shopping but regret it instantly. It’s always chaos.

For today’s dinner my mum’s sorting a roast. I volunteer to make the potatoes. Raymond’s got a mouth-watering recipe for those.

Everyone has their own little tips and techniques for making the perfect roast potatoes, but my favourite is one that my British friends have been doing for years. Believe me, it will give you a crispy outside and a fluffy centre every time. - Raymond Blanc 

The recipe was easy too. Well, as easy as roast potatoes can be. 

I boiled them until they were cooked but not falling apart, drained them and then shook the colander so they got a bit more fluffy. 

At the same time, I popped a roasting tin of oil into the oven until it was hot.

Then, I poured the potatoes into the roasting tin. I admit at this point I was very nervous. 

The potatoes hissed as they were tossed in and with that satisifying sizzle I knew: these are going to be the greatest things I've ever cooked. 

Raymond reccomends half a bulb of garlic goes in with the potatoes for the last five minutes but I'm using th whole thing. 

VOLIA! My potatoes: 

I also used the leftover garlic as spread for my bread the next day too - thanks for the tip! 

Unfortunatley, I didn't stop there on Sunday. 

I went rogue with my second plan: baked apples and caramel sauce. Prep time says it takes 15 mintues and the ingrediants were surprisingly simple. 

Raymond specifically suggested Reine de Reinette apples, Cox's Orange Pippin or Discovery Apple - all sound incredible but none were available in my local supermarket. 

I thought it would be fine to go slightly off piste with this one and I optimistically purchased what Asda have simply described as 'a bag of apples'. I stayed clear of the Red Ladies and cooking apples, though on reflection they might have been better. 

I’m full of optimism that these apples look big and juicy enough until I look at Raymond’s recipe for the second time which starts: “To make this recipe, you’ll need the right kind of apple,” oops.

Cooking

To make the recipe all you need to do is: cut the bottoms off the apples so they stand up on a straight and then roll them all in butter and caster sugar.

To do this I set up a production line on the kitchen side, lobbed two forks in either side of the apple and then frantically rolled them in one bowl of butter and a second time in the sugar. Until the sugar went lumpy and weird.

I popped them in to the oven and then I heard the pop.

Sigh, I genuinely felt a bit defeated but I think I can save this.

I start making the caramel sauce – for this I boiled the sugar and water before adding apple juice and waited for it to turn brown.

Some minutes later, I see it. It’s thick and looks ready to pour so that’s what I do. I pour it over the apple and drizzle it around the apple – in the most chef, impressive way I can think of.  

This is a masterpiece.

Taste test

I munch into the apple and it looks as good as it tastes, very sweet like an apple crumble but quite crunchy.

It’s what came next that I could never have predicated.

I go to empty my plate, but everything is stuck. I’m in a state of panic.

Caramel is everywhere and I didn’t realise how hard it would become so quickly.

I scrub it, I pour boiling water over it but nothing is working. The worst thing: I’ve actually poured caramel over four separate plates.

So I resort to using a knife. Reader, this was a terrible idea.

I’ve now been unable to use my thumb for a week, it’s so sore. 

I had such high hopes but it’s all ended in disaster.

So, what do you think Raymond? Got any jobs going as a sous chef?

-

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