LIKE everyone else on the Internet, I have been following the M&S and Aldi saga over the patent of a birthday cake.
The fallout from the Colin versus Cuthbert lawsuit has shaken the entirety of the UK to its core.
Even more, Aldi's 'Free Cuthbert' hashtag went viral as quicky as Dominic Cummings' 'legal' visit to Barnard Castle.
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Now, I fancy myself a bit of a cake connoisseur and my sweet tooth can only be compared to the likes of MasterChef's co-presenter and judge Gregg Wallace, so I decided to put all the cakes to the ultimate taste test to find out which one is the best.
Disclaimer: Neither Aldi’s Cuthbert the Caterpillar or Waitrose's Cecil the Caterpillar could join the party as they were out of stock. (low-key gutted)
Clyde the Caterpillar from Asda
Price: £5.92 Servings: 12
As a person who loves getting the most cake for their money, I was secretely rooting for Asda - until I discovered something in the cake that definitely did not belong there.
In theory, Clyde is the most colourful cake of them all with a bright green face, red nose, a ton of sprinkles and chocolate confections.
My version was a bit wonky and losing its caterpillar form but I was ready to forgive it all.
First bite was okay - maybe a bit dry - but by the second, I nearly broke my tooth on an unidentifiable stone-like crumb, which had somehow made it to the cake batter.
This put me off of the whole cake.
Verdict: 1/5
Curly the Caterpillar from Tesco
Price: £6 Servings: 12
Tesco's caterpillar cake definitely surprised me - the sponge was fluffy and fresh, and even though it was the last cake I tested, it did not feel sickly.
The layers of sponge and chocolate cream filling were even.
Curly's appearance was nothing to brag about but I am sure it will do the job at a birthday party.
Verdict: 4/5
Wiggles the Caterpillar from Sainsbury's
Price: £6 Servings: 14
Now, my biggest qualm with this cake is that it pretends to serve 14 peple.
In reality, none of the caterpillar cakes serve a dozen birthday guests but Sainsbury's has really tried to push their luck and I am not here for it.
When I cut into Wiggles, it does not lose form or crumble like most ther cakes and I appreciate that.
But the sponge was dry and the filling too sweet even for my taste, though a five-year-old would probably love it.
Verdict: 2/5
Charlie the Caterpillar from Co-op
Price: £6.35 Servings: 12
This cake really won me over and I had never tried it in the past.
It was the most stylish of the bunch and Charlie's joyous face made him look like an anime character.
Charlie was made of dense buttercream and a delightfully moist sponge.
Verdict: 4/5
Mini Colin the Caterpillar from M&S
Price: £2.25 Servings: 5
Big Colin was not available on the day I visited the supermarket branch, which annoyed me, and I was already rooting against him for being the 'baddy' in the legal drama with Aldi.
Nevertheless, I concede defeat as Colin won.
The mini cakes did not have the same neat appearance as all the other cakes but I guess simle is sometimes better.
The taste is superior by miles - light chocolate cream filling with a solid milk chocolate crust.
I have to say that I purchased the box of Mini Colins two days before all the other cakes.
Regardless, the bites were still fresh and goey - top marks for Colin and M&S
Verdict: 5/5
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