A nurse who admitted having sex with a patient said today he had let his family and hospital down, but denied he was a rapist.
Oliver Balicao, 33, is accused of raping the 16-year-old girl, who had gone to the John Radcliffe Hospital, in Oxford, following an overdose in March, in a toilet cubicle.
The girl, who cannot be named for legal reasons, said Balicao groped her while she was feeling drowsy in bed and then lured her to the lavatory on the pretext of needing a urine sample.
But yesterday he told a jury the teenager encouraged him to have sex.
He denies rape but has admitted a charge of sexual activity with a child by a person in a position of trust on March 12.
Balicao said: "I'm really ashamed of it and I regret it.
"I let down lots of important people, the patient, her family, my family, my job, the hospital, me being in the UK and especially my nursing profession."
The father-of-two said he took the girl to the toilet because a urine sample was needed after blood tests revealed she had a high white cell count.
In the cubicle she grabbed him, he said, and started kissing him.
Balicao, of Lerwick Croft, Bicester, said: "I was surprised and shocked. I kissed back."
Brian Stork, defending, asked: "Was that the right thing to do?"
Balicao replied: "No sir. I was overwhelmed, I'm surprised and shocked about what happened and what she did, I did not think properly and I made an unwise decision.
"I'm really ashamed of it."
During cross-examination, the defendant accepted his alleged victim was "not a bad looking girl" and she was vulnerable because she had problems at home and was being bullied at school.
However, he denied groping her in her bed.
He said the only time he touched her on the ward was to remove electrocardioggram electrodes from her chest, which he said he did with her consent.
Speaking of what happened in the disabled toilet he said: "What I have said, on my heart, is what happened.
"It was all consented to, I did not force her."
The jury retired to consider its verdict yesterday afternoon and was due to resume deliberations today.
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