GILES WOODFORDE takes a peep behind the scenes at the Oxford Playhouse for the Aladdin rehearsals
"May I present my daughter, Her Imperious Beautyness Princess So Shi," proclaims the Emperor in suitably fruity tones. "Why is no one looking at me?" So Shi demands to know. Answer: because all eyes are modestly looking downwards, and everybody is grovelling on the floor, as is right and proper in the presence of such august personages.
But noses aren't near enough to the floor, the director decides. The scene is run again, with the grovels made even more grovelling. The scene then runs on, on to the subject of the Princess finding a husband: "You need to find a bloke who is worth a fortune - cookie," she is told.
Old jokes, new jokes, it's panto time, and rehearsals for this year's Oxford Playhouse production of Aladdin were under way. It was early in the rehearsal process when I visited - no sign yet of sparkling sets or colourful costumes: "Do you like my frock? I got it for a ridiculous figure," as many a panto dame has gleefully informed us about her attire down the years.
For the second year running, the Playhouse panto is being directed by Peter Duncan, who is perhaps best known for his stint on Blue Peter during the 1980s. But according to his cv, he has "produced, directed, written, and appeared in pantomimes for over 30 years". Which must have made him a jolly young juvenile lead, I suggested gallantly when we talked during the rehearsal lunch break.
"Ah, how sweet. But no, my parents used to put on pantos professionally. So I grew up in that environment. My dad was a producer and played the comic, and my mum played principal boy. So every Christmas panto was all around. When I became an actor myself, I didn't actually do panto for about 15 years. Then towards the early 1990s I started being in them. I've always enjoyed them because they go back to my youth, and I've ended up playing all sorts of different roles. But the first time I actually just directed a panto without also appearing in it was here in Oxford last year. It's interesting just to direct, to be on the outside in a way."
So Peter's parents never shoved him on stage as a child?
"No, it was what my parents did, not me. The idea that theatrical parents can't wait for their children to go on stage doesn't really happen, it's more of a romantic notion. When I was young, I was going to do something else - I don't know what, but I wasn't going to do what they did.
"Nonetheless I left school at 15 and started working as an actor - I was more television and legit theatre than my parents, as opposed to their old-fashioned variety and cabaret work."
Besides directing, Peter Duncan has co-written Aladdin with avid panto enthusiast Chris Jordan, artistic director of Eastbourne Theatres, and producer of the zany By Jeeves which was staged at the Playhouse recently.
"I love to put my own stuff in, but it's always nice to work with someone else," Peter said. "If you're working with an existing script, you're always worried that the writer won't like you changing things.
"For instance, you may have to alter things because the sets are different from those the original writer had in mind. You may be using different characters too: I've got a Ping and a Pong, whereas there might have only been a Pong before. You might be turning Aladdin into a boy instead of a girl, or Wishie Washie might be using a different kind of washing machine.
"Also, lots of things get changed during rehearsals. You need to add bits in or cut things down."
Watching the Aladdin rehearsal, I discovered that Peter Duncan and Chris Jordan's script is a mixture of new material and jokes that have been around for many a year. I asked Peter if audiences tended to object if too much unfamiliar new material was introduced.
"I don't think audiences come with any preconceptions. The concept of pantomime is lots of scene changes, bright colours, funny people, nice melodies, and a strong narrative. Of course I've put in local jokes: references to getting a takeaway from the Randolph, things like that. One of the nice things about panto is that it's current: if something happens in the media that's a big story, you can slip a line in that refers to it.
"For instance, the Emperor currently leaves the stage saying: I'm just going to check on the turkeys in M&S'. That's because at the moment there might be a shortage of turkeys, but by the time we get to the actual performances that will hopefully be old news, so we'll no doubt have to think of something else. It's nice to include topical things that will get a laugh."
Hardened old panto reviewers like me get to know the danger signs: within five minutes of the curtain going up, sweet packets get rattled more ostentatiously and the backchat with children in the row behind gets louder. "Help," you think, "This panto isn't going to hook the audience." How do you prevent that happening?
"Pace is very important. Depending on the ingredients you want to heighten up, telling a story is important too. Being funny is probably more important still. And you don't want the show to look tatty. You must have good lightning flashes - and snow. All those bits and pieces come into it.
"Because it's a quick turnover thing, you have to find ways to make things work, if they don't work properly in the first place. You have to think on your feet a bit, because you don't have that long in rehearsal, although here we get three weeks, which is pure luxury in panto terms."
After 30 years and being born into the business, Peter could truly be said to have panto in his blood. What keeps him fresh?
"Every time I try to find something a bit different. That keeps it fresh. When you do a production of a pantomime that's being repeated from an earlier year on the basis that: it worked well last time, so let's do it again,' it's always a recipe for disaster."
Aladdin opens at the Oxford Playhouse today and runs until January 13. Tickets: 01865 305305 or www.oxfordplayhouse.com
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