It's the season for corporate wine tastings. On the whole they are great fun, but the curse of the mobile phone has begun to play an interesting role in these events. It goes something like this: one of the happy crowd will approach me at half-time and ask whether I know anything about a particular bottle of wine they have got at home and if this weekend is the time they should be drinking it. It's a perfectly valid question and one that I get asked a lot.
With almost equal regularity I have to hold my hands up and say I just don't know.
Equally problematic is that people don't always remember the name of the wine, the vintage, the producer or sometimes even the country, and label descriptions rarely help to narrow down the options.
Lately though, the mobile phone and the stay-at-home partner have taken centre stage in addressing these problems. "Don't worry," said a friendly chap last week, "the missus is at home, I'll get her to dig it out." "Hi honey" A few mumbled words later and the phone is thrust into my hand and I begin a slightly surreal conversation with a lovely lady who has only just managed to get the last of four children to sleep and has absolutely no interest in digging out some long since forgotten bottle of wine.
I can't help but feel that if she does find the bottle, she's more likely to crack it over hubby's head than share it over a tasty steak. Still, she bravely perseveres and comes up with the goods. The label's a bit damaged and she doesn't speak French. There is a moment of sisterhood understanding when we realise that neither of us has the energy to pursue this. We agree to let it go.
"No, no sweetie" her husband interjects. "I know you're tired love but you've got a camera phone. Just SMS a picture of the bottle and I'm sure Sarah will know exactly what it is." I admire the tenacity of the man, but I've heard her tone. Sometimes you've just got to know when to quit.
We're several minutes into the second-half and the you've got a picture message' tone sounds. We gather round and I laugh out loud when my eyes set upon the image of a woman standing next to a newly-opened bottle of red and a generous glass already poured. It comes with the following message: "Saving Sarah the bother - it's lovely".
The conference is over 200 miles from home. He is never going to know what the wine tastes like and I'll never know what it was because the beaming, victorious smile of a woman I truly admire features much larger than the barely-visible bottle.
There's more than one moral to the story. When you're out having a good time at the company wine tasting this Christmas, don't phone home to rub it in. If you've got a wine on the rack you're curious to know more about, take a note of all its details before you leave the house.
And last, but by no means least, please don't assume that because you've kept it forever you'll be rewarded with liquid gold. It is only the very smallest percentage of wines that will reward long-term cellaring. It's so much better to drink a wine a touch too young and taste what qualities it has, than hang on too long and be treated to thin, fruitless vinegar.
For the stay-at-homers there's a great case from The Oxford Times Wine Club this week. Each and every bottle is ready for drinking now and with three bottles of each, there will probably be at least one left over to share when the worker returns!
Click here for The Oxford Times Wine Club offers.
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