THE gut-wrenching loss of a loved one is all the worse for thousands of older people in Oxfordshire who have no one close by to brighten their days.

Former Bliss Tweed Mill worker Marilynn Cross, 66, is still distraught at the loss of her husband Francis last year and keenly waits for a call from Age UK Oxfordshire.

Last November Mr Cross passed away aged 69 from a combination of chronic pulmonary disease and cancer.

Mrs Cross said: “It was very sudden, and very quick, but not expected at all. I was absolutely devastated and I still am.

“It would have been our 50th wedding anniversary.

“I have had to get rid of his chair and I’ve got a new table and chairs he bought me when he was diagnosed with cancer.

“His clothes have gone, but I kept a couple of dressing gowns. I hate this time of year. I miss him so much.”

Mrs Cross, who has lived in Great Rollright her whole life, attends a bereavement support group in Chipping Norton but cannot always relate as her grief is so fresh.

Her late husband worked at Oxford Exhaust Systems in Woodstock Road, Oxford, and later as a painter and decorator.

Until last week Mrs Cross did not take a bus for 30 years as he would drive her everywhere.

She said: “We used to go and see family a lot, and watch TV together at home. I find now that I can’t watch it because it brings back memories.

“I feel very, very lonely. On Wednesdays and Thursdays I don’t see anyone and do nothing as I have mobility problems. My legs don’t hold me up well.

“Great Rollright is not the old-fashioned village it used to be. We have a lot of new people here I don’t even know and I really think neighbourly feeling is diminishing.”

Mrs Cross’s daughter Katrina comes over regularly to help her with the housework and at Christmas she will attend a family gathering after visiting her sister Daphne, 60, for a mince pie.

But the wider family is also coping with grief. In January this year Mrs Cross’s 15-year-old grandson passed away. The same month she also lost her brother-in-law.

At a low point in the summer, Mrs Cross was introduced to Age UK Oxfordshire’s Phone Friends service by a friend in Chipping Norton.

She now receives two calls a week from volunteer Carol, herself aged 69. Mrs Cross: “It helps that she’s close to my age because I don’t think the younger ones understand.

“Usually I burst into tears. I’m not good on the phone. But I always look forward to the call. She asks how I’m getting on. It’s nice having a chit-chat, and to have a friend.”

This Christmas the Oxford Mail is aiming to raise £5,400 to bolster the charity’s efforts in brightening the days of older people in Oxfordshire blighted by loneliness.

HOW YOU CAN HELP
* Donate to the Lonely this Christmas appeal, which is aiming to raise £5,400 by Christmas to support Age UK Oxfordshire and its Phone Friends service. Text AUKO52 £3 to 70070 to give £3 or visit campaign.justgiving.com/charity/ageukoxfordshire/endloneliness to pledge an amount of your choice.

* Volunteer with Age UK Oxfordshire. Ten new recruits are being sought over the Christmas period to work from Age UK Oxfordshire’s Banbury headquarters. There is no set minimum age and Phone Friends can volunteer from just two hours per week. To find out more, email volunteering@ageukoxfordshire.org.uk. 

* If you’re organising a Christmas lunch for neighbours and older people who may not have anyone to share the day with, register it at communitychristmas.org.uk.