WHEN the love of your life is gone and the rest of your family are on the other side of the world, Christmas can be a bleak prospect.
Former bookshop worker Hazel Plested, 91, fled London during the Second World War and has lived in Oxford for 70 years.
Three and a half years ago, her husband John passed away after a long battle with bowel cancer at their Headington home. Mrs Plested has been alone ever since.
She said: “John didn’t go into a home. I wanted to look after him. There was a lot that was wrong with him but he never complained. All the carers loved him on their rota because he was so kind and was always smiling. He was a wonderful man and I miss him very, very much.”
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Mr Plested, who died aged 80, went to Magdalen College School and was a keen painter. One of his paintings of Christ Church still hangs on the wall.
Nowadays Mrs Plested keeps herself busy, heading to St Francis Court Community Club on Wednesdays and shopping with a carer on Fridays.
A few months after losing Mr Plested she bought a budgie, Joey, who can now say “Kiss mummy” and touch his beak to her nose.
Mrs Plested said: “He’s my little pearl. He means a lot to me because it’s someone to come home to.
“When there was a discussion on television John and I used to ‘discuss the discussion’; I miss all that kind of thing.
“That’s when you feel lonely, when you can’t discuss things with your husband. There’s millions of other things we used to do.
“At night it’s so quiet here. It can get frightening because you pick up every noise. When I’m not well, nobody comes to take care of you.”
Occasionally Mrs Plested speaks with her 72-year-old daughter Gloria Salvador on Skype, who lives with her children and the rest of the Plested family in America.
Her other main companion is Sarah, a volunteer from Age UK Oxfordshire who calls Mrs Plested on Thursday afternoons in her capacity as a ‘Phone Friend’.
As part of its Lonely this Christmas campaign, the Oxford Mail is asking readers to help raise £5,400 for the service – or even sign up as volunteers themselves – to help some of the 10,400 older people in Oxfordshire who say they are often or always lonely.
Mrs Plested added: “I’ve never seen Sarah, but she’s such a homely girl. She has a cat called Marmite so we talk animals a lot. She would be aware if something was wrong, and knows that if I pick up the phone I’m okay, which is vital. At 91 I’m not a teenager.
“We have been brought up to be independent and stand on our own two feet. But when we get old, we have to ask for help.”
HOW YOU CAN HELP
- Donate to the Lonely this Christmas appeal, which is aiming to raise £5,400 by Christmas to support Age UK Oxfordshire and its and Phone Friends service. Text AUKO22 £3 to 70070 to give £3 or visit campaign.justgiving.com/charity/ageukoxfordshire/endloneliness to pledge an amount of your choice.
- Volunteer with Age UK Oxfordshire. 10 new recruits are being sought over the Christmas period. There is no set minimum age and Phone Friends can volunteer from just two hours per week. To find out more, e-mail volunteering@ageukoxfordshire.org.uk.
- If you’re organising a Christmas lunch for neighbours and older people who may not have anyone to share the day with, register it at communitychristmas.org.uk
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