A STRANGER is just a friend you haven’t met yet – or in some cases, a friend you haven’t heard.

For 90-year-old John Ogle, he has never met Mary Wood, but her regular phone calls help keep loneliness at bay for the pensioner.

Weekly chats with Mrs Wood, a volunteer Phone Friend with Age UK Oxfordshire, have brought immeasurable comfort to Mr Ogle and thousands more like him in the county who feel lonely in their twilight years.

Mr Ogle turned 90 earlier this month and is one of 35,000 older people in Oxfordshire who live alone.

His wife Elizabeth died about 60 years ago from kidney problems when their son Christopher was very small. He never remarried and, although he benefits from regulars visits from carers and relatives, he said he can go for two to three weeks at a time without seeing anyone else. 

He said: “I do get lonely at times, I must admit. It’s only me at home and I don’t go out much. I can get out, but I walk very slowly. Normally I watch television or read.

“When I was younger we used to have a lot of relations over for Christmas, and spend the day playing games.

“This year I am supposed to be going up to Wales for a family gathering but I don’t feel like going that distance. If not I will just sit at home and put my food in the microwave.”

Mr Ogle receives a call from Mrs Wood on Tuesday mornings and from another phone friend volunteer on Fridays.

He said: “I feel very comforted when they call. It’s nice to have a chat and it makes me feel very happy to hear them.”

Mrs Wood, 71, formerly ran parenting courses for Oxfordshire County Council and retired some years ago herself. She said: “I wanted to do something positive.

“I first started at the Age UK Oxfordshire reception desk. There was a gap upstairs so I thought I would give it a go.”

Three years later, Mrs Wood calls 13 older people in the county each week for a friendly catch-up and to check they are all right.

Some of them have no-one else to talk to.

She said: “It sounds a bit trite, but the more you give out the more you receive.

“It’s an opportunity to listen to other people’s stories and gives me a bit of a challenge.

“A number say they really look forward to it and really miss you if you take a week off. You build up quite a rapport with people and get a mental picture.

“Sometimes it gives them an opportunity to say things they might be protecting their family from: fears about the future, or concerns that they’re being a burden.”

Herself a grandmother-of-four, Mrs Wood lives in Banbury with her husband Barrie, also 71 and a former pharmacist.

She added: “I’m really fortunate. My husband and I are together and we have each other for companionship.

“There are many people who don’t have anybody, and they really feel it.”

Mrs Wood added: “John is lovely. We talk about his problems, his family, and his church visits and what he’s doing in the week. He’s such a gentleman.”

This Christmas, the Oxford Mail is running its Lonely This Christmas campaign with Age UK Oxfordshire to raise £5,400 for the charity – the equivalent of 2,000 calls from phone friends to older people in need of a friendly voice, just like Henley resident Mr Wood.

Donations are gladly received, and 10 people are being asked to sign up as phone friends themselves.

HOW YOU CAN GET INVOLVED

Oxford Mail:

* Donate to the Lonely this Christmas appeal, which is aiming to raise £5,400 by Christmas to support Age UK Oxfordshire and its Phone Friends service. Text AUKO22 £3 to 70070 to give £3 or visit campaign.justgiving.com/charity/ageukoxfordshire/endloneliness to pledge an amount of your choice.

* Volunteer with Age UK Oxfordshire. Ten new recruits are being sought over the Christmas period. There is no set minimum age and Phone Friends can volunteer from just two hours per week. To find out more, email volunteering@ageukoxfordshire.org.uk. 

* If you’re organising a Christmas lunch for neighbours and older people who may not have anyone to share the day with, register it at communitychristmas.org.uk