MANY people assume loneliness is only likely to strike older people who live by themselves, without family or friends close by.
But Joan Clifford, 96, whose husband Arthur suffers from dementia, knows it can be just as commonplace when you come as a pair.
Yesterday the Oxford Mail launched its Lonely this Christmas campaign after Age UK Oxfordshire revealed 10,400 older people in the county often or always feel lonely.
It aims to raise £5,400 by Christmas for the charity, which runs a ‘Phone Friends’ service for those older people in need of someone to talk to.
Mr and Mrs Clifford met at a farm in Balscote, near Banbury, in 1943, when she was serving as a Land Girl in the Second World War. They married the following year.
For 62 years the couple lived in Sutton Courtenay, but moved to Ducklington to be nearer their family after Mr Clifford’s diagnosis in October 2013.
Mrs Clifford said: “We had so many friends, and a social life, and I miss them. We had to give everything up, all at once.
“Since I have been here I have been very lonely. It’s just the two of us and I’m a full-time carer now. I manage with the cooking and as much cleaning as I can.
“Arthur can remember what happened years ago, every little detail, but if I say something he will ask me about it in 10 minutes’ time. It gets very frustrating.
“Arthur sits with his eyes closed a lot. He’s gone with the fairies. It’s so different to what he used to be. I can’t get him interested in anything – I have tried and tried.”
Previously Mrs Clifford worked as a secretary, was an active member of the WI and ran the local photography club for nearly four decades.
She said: “It was all slides at first and then it went digital. We had silver cups and dinners. I miss all that. I miss having a good old natter and a laugh with people.”
Now the pair spend most of their time at home, with morning visits from the district nurse to dress sores on Mr Clifford’s legs and shoulders.
When the weather is fine they occasionally take scooters into town, but in the winter months it is too cold for either of them.
While at home Mrs Clifford spends a lot of time gardening and talking to their pet budgie, Billy. She has also joined an old people’s club called Good Companions for somewhere to go.
Once a week Mrs Clifford receives a call from Age UK Oxfordshire volunteer Valerie, who calls from the charity’s Banbury offices on Wednesdays.
Mrs Clifford added: “Age UK has been a great help to me. It’s someone to talk to and we have a laugh.
“When I was called up to go into the Land Army in 1942 I was sent to Banbury, so we have something in common. She tells me what the market place is like now and what the shops are like. It’s nice to talk about somewhere I know.
“It’s really lovely. I’m always waiting for the phone to ring on a Wednesday.”
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