If you’d rather walk the dog than be with your man perhaps it’s time to make a change. Jaine Blackman meets Annie Kaszina, who did just that

Are you having a rubbish Valentine’s Day?

If you feel you get more affection from your pet than your partner, there might be a reason for that, according to Oxford relationship coach Annie Kaszina.

“I was a serial relationship zero for rather a lot of years, until my first Shih Tzu, Sharon, brought me up short and I realized I had chosen her way more carefully than I had ever chosen my men,” says Annie, who specialises in helping women select a partner “as loving, lovable and loyal as their pet”.

After a painful break-up Annie decided that instead of repeating what didn’t work and looking for a man to make her life “right”, she’d take the time and trouble to discover what she was doing that wasn’t working... and change it.

“That involved rethinking a lot of the myths and stereotypes that wrong-foot most women.”

The moment of truth came for Annie when her long-term partner demanded she choose between him and their pet and, without hesitation, she picked the dog.

“I looked at the wonderful, undemanding little bundle of joy on the floor who always made me feel like a million dollars. Then I turned my gaze to the snarling, resentful human by my side.

“That was the biggest Aha moment of my entire life,” she recalls.

Because after their previous “small, beautiful and quite evil” dog Orlando, Annie had chosen Sharon very carefully.

So her relationship ended and she set out on a crusade to turn her life around and help others do the same.

“I realised that, far from being alone, many, many other women – and a few men – also chose their partner less carefully than their four-legged best friend, and I wanted to play my part in helping other women to avoid the kind of mistakes – and heartache – that I’d been through,” says Annie.

With a PhD in literature and a “nose” for research, she used her skills to discover the tools, insights, and resources to do that.

“I now have a wonderful partner who is absolutely perfect for me, and I’ve helped hundreds of other women to do the same thing,” says Annie, who offers in person and online coaching.

She has also written a book, published today, called Do You Choose Your Dog More Carefully Than Your Husband? to pass on what she has discovered.

“Knowing from personal experience how heart-strong a lot of women can be, I know there’s not a lot of point in telling women what they should do, and how they should feel,” she says.

“Instead, I’ve created a number of tools to create the Aha! moment when the scales fall from women’s eyes, never to return.”

The book – which is subtitled And How To Avoid The Jerks, Creeps And Players – offers tools, and techniques to help that happen.

“Human beings aren’t stupid. We all know what we should be doing,” says Anne. “The trick is to bridge that gap so that people feel happy and confident, spontaneously and wholeheartedly doing the thing they once thought they couldn’t do, but should be doing.”

* For more information about Annie see anniekaszina.com
* Do You Choose Your Dog More Carefully Than Your Husband? Powerhouse Publishing, £14.99. Download a free chapter at ChooseYourMan.com/chap

* The book is light-hearted because I believe that when you’re laughing you’re learning.

* I’m a recent immigrant to Oxford and LOVING it. Before that I lived in Hertfordshire, but I’ve been helping women create and maintain wonderful relationships, throughout the English-speaking world, for the past 10 years.

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