Talking to the founder of the Kicking The Bucket Festival

Starting with a graveyard jazz concert, Kicking the Bucket Festival events include funeral song singalongs, a performance on the issue of assisted dying, a debate on funeral poverty, and the premiere of a puppet show about death for young children.

But dark as it may seem, as its founder explains, the aim of the festival is not to focus on death, but to discuss it, even prepare for it, then use this hopefully-liberating experience to get on with living your life.

“I have seen a lot of distress from our inability to talk about death or dying,” explained Liz Rothschild.

“But death is the one thing all humans have in common and we are not alone with it once we start talking to other people.”

A 57-year-old, married, mum-of-two from Faringdon, Liz has experienced more than her fair share of death. But instead of shying away from it, she chose to embrace it, becoming a funeral celebrant, running a natural burial site and now encouraging others to address it through the Kicking the Bucket Festival.

She said: “The Festival gives people the opportunity to explore new ideas, make plans, share their concerns and get creative. But it’s far from morbid.

“We have rousing choir sessions in which people sing the songs they want played at their funerals.

Artists and organisers carried a bright blue cardboard coffin the length of Cornmarket Street to publicise the Kicking the Bucket in 2012

“We have dance workshops to examine the end of life wishes for people with dementia.

“We also have experts explaining the practicalities of home funerals, along with death cafes where people can come along, eat cake and talk about the very real issues their families often avoid discussing with them.

“After the first Kicking the Bucket in 2012 people expressed a sense of relief, enjoyment and even fun in attending events, with some saying it had eased their fears and many saying they felt empowered to take personal decisions or to simply begin an important conversation with relatives about what they want to happen when they die.

“I’m a firm believer that by engaging with death, we connect to life.”

Liz’s interest in death, and the way people deal with it, began at an early age.

“I was 15 when I first saw a dead person. I used to visit an old lady, Mrs Gilmour after school. We met at a bus stop.

“When she went into hospital I continued to visit and one day I went in and discovered she had died. No one had realised. I wasn’t traumatised. But I did feel sad, and now I feel so grateful that I had that first encounter: not a death that changed my life, but a chance to come to terms with some of it.”

She continued: “When I was 35 one of my best friends died very suddenly from a brain clot. I was at her bedside in hospital with her daughter and other close friends.

“She was not religious and she was gay and we knew her funeral had to be different.

“But when she was brought to the house by the undertakers so her friends could say their final goodbyes, she had make up on her face, even though she never wore make up when she was alive.

“No one had discussed this with us and it stayed with me.

“I was the mistress of ceremonies at her funeral and since then two other close friends have died of cancer and I have been closely involved with them and their families.

“This inspired me to become a celebrant. And each time I preside over a funeral, I learn something new; about what helps and what doesn’t, about the system around death and dying and different approaches of the professionals involved.”

Funerals at Westmill Burial Ground near Faringdon, which Liz runs with her husband Adam Twine, often take a very different approach; It’s not unusual to see people lowering their relative into their grave wrapped in a shroud they have decorated.

Or even to see families unload their loved one from the back of an estate car.

Graveside music is commonplace at Westmill, as is singing and children can often be seen playing football as the family enjoy a graveside picnic “wake”.

There are no gravestones, or even trees marking graves, just GPS coordinates given to mark a person’s final resting place.

“The burial ground grew out of wanting to create a place which was wild and natural and comfortable for people,” said Liz.

“A place that celebrated ongoing life as the trees grew up and the berries came in autumn.

“We have meetings and memorial gatherings and open days, all of which give another reason to come up and see how things are developing, and families feel a real connection to the site.”

Alongside her celebrant work, Liz has worked as a theatre practitioner most of her life, as a performer, director, writer, workshop leader and community artist.

She launched the Kicking the Bucket Festival in 2012.

But not everyone was impressed.

“No one has called me morbid to my face but I expect there are a few who wonder why I am so interested in it all and wonder if is entirely healthy,” she mused.

“Some people did not like the name of the festival. They found it too direct, in rather bad taste even. A few even suggested I change it.

“But I am proud of it. It sends the message I am trying to send: look this happens. Let’s even have a bit of a laugh about it. This is not all going to be serious and it is going to be serious and that is alright too. We cannot experience real joy without acknowledging the painful parts of life.”

The 2014 offering of the biennial festival will run between October 22 and November 13 and Liz hopes to welcome people of all ages and walks of life, as well as people who have never been involved before.

She said: “This festival is for everyone. Sometimes I think it is assumed the subject of death is only relevant to the 50-plus, but our debate at the Oxford Union last time was oversubscribed.

“And I’m very pleased this year to be sponsoring the new puppet show: Death in a Nut, and to be offering two events that talk about death and the young in quite different ways.

“Basically we want to reach people before it is all upsetting and urgent and feeling overwhelming; to encourage them to allow death into their everyday reality.”

Bookings are now being taken for events and everyone is invited to join the rousing launch event: a New Orleans-style jazz jam by the Horns of Plenty Community Street Band at St Giles Church, on the evening of October 22.

Liz said: “I am very excited about this year’s festival. We aim to catch people where they normally go, as well as invite them to our hub at the Friends Meeting House in Oxford.

“But we also aim to pop up all over Oxford, so even if you wanted to avoid us the first time, you may give in by the third exposure!”

For details of the festival see kickingthebucket.co.uk

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