Keep calm and carry on when dad’s in a war zone

Exam stress and homework are issues many children must tackle but for some youngsters, school life is tougher.

Children whose parents serve in the military must come to terms with moving frequently between schools or their mums and dads being sent abroad for training or to fight.

It poses a unique problem for teachers and staff, who must tailor their support to meet individual fluctuations so their schoolwork doesn’t suffer.

Carterton Primary School has been given an Army Families Federation’s Excellence for Forces Children Award for helping such pupils. Some 240 children attend the school, and nearly 100 have parents who work at neighbouring RAF Brize Norton.

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It was commended for how it spent Government funding – a £300 premium per pupil – to help children adjust to a new environment and stay in touch with parents based abroad.

The cash is used to employ part-time service families support worker Tess Brooker and run activities to give pupils confidence or the chance to write to absent parents.

Mrs Brooker said: “To be a service child has varying degrees of difficulty.

“Some children’s parents never move and will be here from when they join until they leave so it’s a normal school life.

“But some children move an awful lot. If you have a resilient child who makes friends easily it’s less of a problem but some are different and have difficulty making friends.

“With children who have parents away on deployment or training, it can be a life-changing experience and very upsetting.

“It’s a personal thing for each child but we have to be able to work out the best individual support for them.”

The school provides welcome packs before children join, including details about the topics they will study, holds nurture groups and offers extra teaching support.

Mrs Brooker also runs a ‘keeping in touch’ club where pupils can write to absent parents and the HMS Heroes fun club with crafts, games and trips to RAF Brize Norton.

Her husband, Flight Sergeant Chris Brooker, has been in the airforce for 32 years and is currently a support engineer with 99 Squadron.

Their six-year-old twin girls are pupils at Brize Norton Primary School.

She said: “We’ve been based at RAF Brize Norton for six years so I have a lot of knowledge about what it’s like. I liaise with parents a lot – they know I’m in the same position as they are so they can share what they want.”

Oxfordshire County Council cabinet member for children, education and families, Melinda Tilley, said the council gives military parents priority for school places.

It also allows schools with service children to break the maximum of 30 pupils per class limit, although it usually evens out over a year.

She said: “They get the school of their parents’ choice because they have a tough enough time without us choosing them a school place.

“We’re very lucky to have the forces in Oxfordshire and we’re very keen to support the military in any way we can.”

‘Primary school boosted shy eight-year-old’s confidence sky high’

WHEN the Phillips family moved from their native Wales to West Oxfordshire, it marked the start of a new life.

Corporal Craig Phillips, 34, has been based at RAF Brize Norton as an engineer for the past four years but it was not until July last year that his family moved to be with him, now living in married quarters in Carterton.

Wife Hayley, 30, found it difficult to difficult to meet new people and her son Carwyn, eight, was initially very shy. But now she said he can’t stop talking and is involved in a range of activities at Carterton Primary School.

Mrs Phillips, who also has a three-year-old daughter, Seren, said: “The school spent a lot of time with him when he first moved here and it’s made his confidence sky-high.

“Carwyn was given a picture of his class and a little bit of information about his teacher.

“He was very shy and wouldn’t talk to adults at first but now he’s happy to talk to anyone, going to groups for maths, cooking and art. His self-esteem has rocketed since he came here.”

It was not just Carwyn who struggled to adapt, as Mrs Phillips added: “Because it was our first ever move I was very nervous and spent three or four months trying to fit in.

“It wasn’t until school started putting on service family coffee mornings that I got to meet some of the other mothers, which made a lot of difference.”

• Trish Moore

Children face huge pressures

Parents don’t always know what their child is going through when their mum or dad is posted abroad, a specialised home-school link worker said.

Trish Moore, who works at Carswell Primary School in Abingdon, said adults can often be shocked when they realise what children are thinking.

One-third of the school’s children have parents based at Dalton Barracks in Abingdon, and can often be sent to war zones.

It has a special nurture room, where children can take part in activities, relax, chat or write about their feelings on a board.

Mrs Moore said: “Sometimes the parents aren’t aware of just how much it affects the children. I’ve had things on the wall in the office that the children have written and when the parents have come in to discuss different matters with me I would say ‘that’s your son or daughter’, and they’ll stand and cry when they read what the children have said.

“They simply had no idea that’s what the children were feeling.

“Sometimes it’s also about talking to the parents and getting them to see it from the children’s perspective.

“They are adults and it’s difficult for them to cope when their husband or wife is away, but for a child it’s absolutely huge.”

• RAF Benson Primary School runs a social circle for children whose parents are posted overseas – pictured with pastoral support officer Sue Rodulson are, from left, Skye Byers-Ross, nine, Jack Gillon, seven, Owen Lock, five, Blake Roberts, 10, Tyler Roberts, six, Niamh Pinn, seven, Ebony Pinn, nine, Grace Smy, seven and Maddison Roberts, eight 

In touch with parents posted abroad 

George the squirrel puppet is a popular character at RAF Benson Primary School.

He keeps in regular contact with the children as he acts as an intermediary between pupils and their parents posted abroad.

Children write to George via the RAF who then writes back with information about what their parents are up to.

This can be vital when parents are not always in a position to respond and is part of the school’s weekly social circle day for children whose parents are deployed abroad

Pastoral support officer Sue Rodulson said: “It’s very important because the children will see what’s portrayed on TV so George alleviates that fear.

“He’s been to Afghanistan and the Falklands Islands. The children write to him and he writes back saying what’s going on. The children love the social circle day. I’ve had parents who have said that when they told their children they were going away they actually cheered because they can go to the social circle.”

The school has 168 children – almost all from service families.

When new pupils arrive they are given a “buddy” so they instantly know someone, and have a one-to-one session with Mrs Rodulson so she can get to know them.

The school also helps youngsters with absent parents by holding an outdoor picnic on Father’s Day, when there is a special assembly.

Mrs Rodulson said: “As you can imagine with the military, there’s children moving in and out all the time at different times during the year. I try to make sure the transition does not become a barrier to their learning.

“With service children, because they move around so much, they are much more sociable and adaptable.

• Carwyn Phillips with service families support worker Tess Brooker at Carterton Primary School 

“When one child leaves you normally get another child coming in.”

Jenny Percy’s aircraft engineer husband Sergeant Steve Percy is in RAF Benson’s 230 Squadron and was in the USA and Afghanistan for a total of nine months last year.

He left behind his wife and two children Abbie, 11, and Olivia, eight, pupils at the primary school.

Office manager Mrs Percy said: “He hadn’t been away for a while so it was quite difficult for the girls, especially because he was away for such a long time.

“Because the girls were in an environment where everyone understands what’s going on the girls took to it very well and it kept their minds off it a bit.

“The children can be very supportive themselves.”

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