SOMEWHERE in the country – I did not quite catch where – there are now £80 on the spot fines for spitting in public.

Oxford – if this was not the place in question – will doubtless be one of the first to follow suit.

During my initial teenage trip to Paris, I was admittedly horrified to see the ‘défense de cracher’ signs in the metro trains, simply because I could not conceive anyone doing so, but I was not asthmatic then and enclosed spaces were obviously involved.

What bodily functions will they next prohibit in the open?

Don’t worry; I shall not specify any.

DAVID DIMENT, Riverside Court, Oxford