TRYING to explain to a little girl of eight why her brother died raises more questions than answers.

But when Grace Chadney’s four-year-old brother Luke passed away from cancer last year, staff at Helen and Douglas House children’s hospice in Magdalen Road, East Oxford, helped her cope.

The Dorchester St Birinus Primary School pupil shared her experience for Children’s Hospice Awareness Week which started yesterday.

The week focuses on supporting the siblings of children who die at children’s hospices.

Luke was diagnosed with the child cancer neuroblastoma at Oxford’s John Radcliffe Hospital and died at Helen and Douglas House in March 2012.

Grace, her mum Kate, dad James, and two-year-old sister Rose were given support by hospice staff.

Grace said: “When it first happened I thought he can’t be dead. I was confused.”

Visits from the hospice’s sibling support worker Laura Woodward helped her talk through what happened to Luke.

Grace added: “We used to talk about Luke and we would do things. We made a memory jar and a memory bracelet and I made a memory box.

“I can talk about it and not get upset like my mum and dad do. I don’t think I cried very recently about it. I just get upset because my mum and dad get upset.

“I kind of get lost in thoughts, about how did it happen? And why did it happen? And why did it happen to him?

“I like talking to Laura because I like remembering things I did with him and it helped my memory of him.”

Laura said: “It was about giving her some time and attention – I explained there were lots of doctors and nurses for Luke but my job was to make sure she was ok.

“Sometimes children don’t want to ask their parents things because they don’t want to make them upset.”

Mum Kate said: “We were keen to know how much Grace knew and they were really good at just going off and having chats with Grace and playing with her and letting us know where Grace was with the whole thing.

“Helen & Douglas House encouraged us to let Gracie see Luke’s body, because they said it has a better outcome for a child to see the body of their sibling.

“We didn’t know whether that would be disturbing or not, but I’m glad we did it. I think it helped hugely because she had an issue with accepting he was dead, that he wasn’t putting it on, that he was playing.”

The hospice is holding a super heroes party as part of Children’s Hospice Awareness Week for children and families at the hospice tomorrow.