I, like, love America, but I also, like, hate the fact that the inappropriate usage of the word ‘like’ seems to have, like, made its way over to England. Like, you know?

Don’t worry — I won’t be writing this entire column in valley girl speak. I also really can’t get on my high horse, because I was probably once just as bad as all of the 19-year-olds babbling like twits all around Oxford, and still slip a ‘like’ or two in here and there (especially after a few pints).

But the difference is — I am from the valley in Los Angeles, where the awful addiction to that word originated, and furthermore, I have been trying my entire adult life to rid myself of the tendency.

Here in England, it shocked me when I first heard ‘like’-ridden banter, and it made me realise just how much the Brits consume American lexicon.

Even in a town as sophisticated as Oxford, people seem to know every word of their favourite Friends episode, or quote something Sheldon said on one of the 25 nightly repeats of The Big Bang Theory. But while there is evidence all around us that American pop culture has infiltrated the UK, the States have yet to be equally saturated with British lexicon.

In the US, Brits are stereotyped as proper, polite, and sounding intelligent just because they elongate their vowels.

My only explanation for this is that, while many Americans might recognise a charming quote from Hugh Grant in Love Actually or Notting Hill, The Only Way is Essex and My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding have yet to make their way into the tubes (and I seriously hope they never do).

That being said, there are some Britishisms I actually wish would make their way west across the pond.

“I can’t be bothered” is perhaps my favourite phrase, because it really gets to the point of the matter — it’s about admitting to your laziness, rather than saying that you don’t “feel like it”, which implies there is actually some emotional thought behind it.

So if you complain that you can’t be bothered to cook your tea, the only reason I will be confused is because you called your dinner a hot beverage.

I also find the English affinity for the word “fancy” to be a wonderfully succinct way of expressing you are in the mood to do something. The only problem is when you explain that you “fancy some faggots for lunch”.

As the world shrinks, perhaps one day there will be a global English lexicon, where we all shout, “cheers y’all” as we “double-fist” our drinks, or call someone out on being a “douchebag” for “taking the p***”.

But for now I’ll take the phrases I fancy and go on my way, and I suggest you do the same, because I certainly can’t be bothered to be chirp ‘cheerio’ just to sound polite, and don’t suggest you echo ‘like’ because Paris Hilton had a reality TV show...