Belfast Slink

Three days of being pampered at luxury hotels in Northern Ireland – excellent!

Arriving at the George Best Belfast City Airport I reflect on the oft-quoted remark of the charismatic footballer: “I’ve spent my money on booze, fast cars and women... the rest I squandered.”

I imagine being in for a hectic few days of wild living, culminating in a serious liver condition. I can’t wait!

On leaving sunny Belfast, as if on cue, a lowering mist rolls in – quite appropriate for Ballygally Castle.

This utterly charming hotel, a converted 17th-century building, includes an infamous ‘ghost room’.

Lady Isabella has supposedly been visiting the room (tiny, with a small and lumpy iron bedstead) for more than 400 years and guests are more than willing to pay for the privilege of a haunting.

Retreating down the tightly curved stone tower stairs you can see why – the luxury suites below are relaxed, comfortable and usually have excellent views across the bay. Damn this mist.

Next stop – Holywood (no, not Hollywood) but Culloden, a former Bishop’s Castle, which has its own star quality nonetheless.

I’m here in time to see a performance of Carmen, cabaret-style, in the hotel.

Before the show I’m handed a fan (naturally) and a glass of Champagne (regularly refilled) plus a tasty morsel or two. It’s great fun and the evening finishes with a gourmet buffet in the hotel’s private suites. Have I died and gone to a bizarre, yet entertaining, heaven?

Rising from my enormous comfortable bed the following morning, the famous ‘Ulster Breakfast’ (a mountain of fried food with all sort of breads) is on offer alongside an intriguing dish of porridge laced with whisky, cream and local honey.

Usually I’ll try anything but after my evening of total indulgence my body is hollering “Don't do it!”

However, a delightful lunch at the Europa Hotel in the heart of Belfast (a sleek, grand entrance introduces a light, modern, airy dining room) revives me. And, judging from the clientele, it’s a great place to meet for lunch.

On to the Slieve Donard Resort and Spa, on the coast of County Down, under the brooding mountains of Mourne, which boasts one of the world’s top golf courses, six acres of private grounds and a luxury spa.

It has to be the ultimate pampering dream.

Its health club comprises pools, saunas, steam rooms and more, all with coastal views.

Spa therapies include massages, body wraps, facials, manicures, pedicures – the list goes on.

My therapist (soothing voice and firm hands) delivers my body wrap with a minimum of fuss (hers) and a maximum of pleasure (mine).

The stylish environment, with its endless jugs of iced water, herbal teas, and so on, is so relaxing, it made me wonder why I would only think of taking a spa therapy as a treat – this should be a regular feature of my life.

Following a dinner of local produce transformed to gastronomic delight in the Oak Restaurant, I retired to the bar to test the cocktail menu.

A blissful end to the day.

At the airport the next day, I‘m reminded of George again.

Judging by his example, I think he would have thoroughly enjoyed the few days of luxury living I’d just ‘endured’ – I know I did.

The six hotels in the Hastings Hotel chain are: * Culloden Estate and Spa, Holywood, Belfast * Slieve Resort and Spa, Downs Road, * Europa Hotel, Great Victoria Street, Belfast * Ballygally Castle, Coast Road, Ballygally, County Antrim * Stormont Hotel, Upper Newtownsards Road, Belfast * Everglades Hotel, Prehen Road, Derry Prices range from £55 for a Classic room to £300 for a Junior suite pppn. Booking: +44(0) 28 9042 1066 or online hastingshotels.com where regular offers are available.

Spa treatments range from £37 for a full body salt and oil scrub, to £245 for a luxury full day spa ritual. Espa spa products are available to purchase from the hotel. More information about visiting Ireland can be found at discoverireland.com