Stormin' Normandy

The capital of Upper Normandy - and the gateway to this region of orchards, towering cliffs and sleepy cottages - boasts some unlovely features alongside Gothic treasures.But any Brit inclined to criticise should remember the RAF's contribution to municipal planning in 1944, which left its cathedral badly damaged. The church was beloved of the painter Monet, who would sit opposite in what is now the majestic tourist office, creating his sun-dappled Impressionist scenes.

Visitors can join classes to sit at the bewhiskered maestro's favourite spot, and dab at a canvas themselves. Nearby are neat shops arrayed with pottery, fabrics and foodstuffs. Should you be caught in a downpour, take shelter in the Church Sainte Jeanne d'Arc.Built in 1979, its warped shape represents the flames that roasted the teenage warrior here in 1431. There's plenty to see in town, including the Aitre Saint-Maclou Bone House, the Joan of Arc museum and the Maritime Museum.

The broad sweep of the Seine dominates and, from July 6-14, Rouen will host an Armada of Tall Ships - a fleet of schooners, barques and square-riggers bound for Liverpool. According to the tourist bosses, it will be eye-popping even for landlubbers, but beware - about 10 million people are expected during the week, so it's going to be cramped. One of the highlights will be an invasion' by UFOs (unidentified floating objects) plus the election of Miss Armada. Ooh la la!

There's more to Normandy than D-Day beaches, and if you admire parks and gardens, visit Le Bois des Moutiers, designed by the renowned designer Edwin Lutyens, is mandatory. Steeped in the theosophy spiritual movement, this country house needs only a body in the capacious library to make it truly English.The gardens were influenced by Gertrude Jekyll and the wooded parkland - including a magnolia orchard and fairy circle - stretch towards the sparkling waters of the Channel. This is the 'Alabaster Coast', stretching towards Dieppe, where the light is often hazy and dreamy (I blame air pollution). Dieppe isn't just a ferry terminal: it's got a proper fortress, for a start, and Chateau Miromesnil - where the writer Guy Maupassant was born - a few miles away is as ornate as the food.

If you're one of the folk who think the French can't really do' gardens, then meander through Jardins de Bellevue at Beaumont le Hareng, where you'll find Himalayan plants swaying in the breeze, and where there's a national collection of hellebores.However, you'll need to harness your imagination when visiting the gardens at Bois Guilbert, where sculptor Jean-Marc de Pas is creating a landscape that celebrates nature and - ahem - the female nude. It'll no doubt be spectacular in 20 years but, at the moment, the park is in its infancy. You can stay at his chateau for 15 euros, but breakfast isn't included.

Birdwatchers should head into the Parc des Boucles de la Seine, a conservation area that has made the most of the marshland.

There are some villages nearby that cry out for photos, such as Marais Vernier, full of thatched homes with lilies sprouting from the roofs. If you stop at this lovely hamlet, where brown-and-white cattle chew the cud, consider a stop at the Auberge de l'Etampage, a down-to-earth restaurant where the blood pudding actually tastes edible and the roast chicken in cream sauce is divine.

The grub is, however, even more sumptuous at the famed, but secluded, country hotel Le Petit Coq aux Champs.

Another place where time passes slowly is Bec Hellouin, a town listed as a conservation spot and home to a working Benedictine Abbey that sells porcelain that is simple in style and affordable, plus faintly sinful stuff such as chocolates and massage oils.You can stay overnight at this abbey, but not at the famous one in Jumieges, as it's a ruin - during the Revolution, part of the vast complex, now overrun by wild flowers and crows, was turned into a quarry. But a visit is both eerie and historic - William the Conqueror held a ceremony here to mark his conquest of England.

The farm at Au Fil ses Saisons does more with flax than you'd think possible. In truth, you probably don't think much about flax. France, along with China and Russia, is one of a handful of places in the world where this marvellously versatile flowering fibre is still much in evidence. Au Fil's got a shop which sells curiosities such as dandelion jam and cider that's so rustic the bottles don't even have labels.

Traditional grub from Normandy includes cheese (particularly Neufchatel and Camembert), cream, apple tart and seafood. It was only in the 17th century that cider drinking eclipsed beer, but nowadays the apple rules supreme (there are 800 cider varieties alone).

To taste Calvados at its best, drop by at the Busnel distillery, close to Lisieux, where ancient vats house vintage editions of this fiery spirit. Take a tour around the copper stills with a guide before bludgeoning your tastebuds with a dram of 1988. It'll be a better souvenir than a tattoo.