I used to live in America with a family who ran a Subway. Every night they'd come back from work with these wonderful sandwiches that we'd devour.
I never got bored of this staple diet. But once I got home, no-one had ever heard of Subway, and I had to break my addiction fast and go cold turkey.
And now that I'm 'clean', what happens? Subway is suddenly the new thing over here and has opened in St Clement's. For those of you who think I'm rabbiting on about the US version of the Tube, Subway is a takeaway franchise, which serves bespoke sandwiches.
"So do a million other places," you reply. Yes, but for some reason these ones have a special taste you just can't beat.
I took my brood to the new outlet to see if the addiction ran in the family genes.
Alas, the English have never quite understood the American version of customer service, so the Subway experience over here is distinctly chilly. Instead of being greeted by smiling faces, eager to help and make your day better, we joined the queue like true Brits and waited in silence for our turn.
In Subway, the staff take you through the sandwich process rather like operating a conveyor belt. One asks what bread you would like - there are four choices, as well as wraps, melts, breakfast and toasties options.
You are then asked what main filling you would like, from steak to turkey, cheese to chicken, and then passed to the salad section.
The salad, included in the price, is terribly un-British, with jalapeo peppers, olives, pickles and sweetcorn, as well as dressings such as 'ranch' or blue cheese.
SO WHAT DID YOU CHOOSE?
Over the years, I've fine-tuned my favourite sub, and although it's cheese-based, even a carnivore has admitted it's a fine concoction. The subs can be bought as 6in or full foot, and obviously I go for the full foot every time.
I always have the 'veggy delite': extra cheese, lettuce, peppers, red onion, olives, jalapeos, extra pickles, mayonnaise and salt and pepper, for £3.50 - a taste explosion in every mouthful.
WHAT DID THE KIDS THINK?
My boys picked the 6in meatball marinara, oozing with delicious Italian meat and sauce - they wolfed it down in seconds.
Sadly, what let the Oxford branch down was the sheer unhelpfulness of the staff. They didn't take debit cards or credit cards. or cheques, only cash.
Having had our three subs made up, we had to venture to the nearest two cashpoints - both of which were out of order. It was only when walking towards town that we discovered Bottoms Up had a cash machine, so we paid £1.50 for the privilege of withdrawing £10.
You can eat in the restaurant, but the place is sparsely furnished like any fast food joint, presumably to get you to eat up as fast as possible. We sat at a dirty table that hadn't been cleared.
Parking in St Clement's comes at a price, although the car park is nearby.
VERDICT: Let down by the service, but the product was as good as I remember. I'll be back - cash in hand.
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