Slice of Magic

Have you met the rent-o-kids yet, the perfect 3D family you can hire and take to restaurants?

The cardboard cut-outs that sit quietly, eat their food without throwing it around and refrain from bucking in their seats like drunken party-goers.

Not in my house anyway. And yet I know they exist because I can spot them a mile away, their near-perfect table manners jarring with every mouthful I eat, their lack of rage, energy and rebellion at polar opposites to my own brood.

Where do they come from, I always wonder, what drugs are their parents using to sedate them, and where can I get some, as I frantically try to contain one of my screaming offspring from throwing food on the floor, spilling drinks and needing the loo every six seconds. And that’s on a good day.

But this weekend, lo and behold, my cardboard cut-out family materialised, sitting around a table at Mamma Mia’s new branch in Walton Street, opposite Brasserie Blanc.

Maybe it was something to do with the sticker and colouring books they were immediately presented with when we arrived, which absorbed them entirely until the food arrived (genius), or perhaps the staff soon realised they were outnumbered so paid more attention, but our meal there surpassed all expectations and as a result we enjoyed it hugely.

I even managed to finish my food and order dessert, a milestone for me.

Because when the proverbial hits the fan, you need to be able to get up and out of a restaurant within minutes before all hell breaks loose.

No one wants to sit there with a child having a full-blown tantrum behind them, so you have to spot the signs and be as primed as a paramedic – fastest exit, check, coats, dummies and cuddly toys, check, pushchair near the door, check. Superman wouldn’t be able to whirl out of a restaurant faster than us, go-faster pants or not.

So you can imagine the enjoyment we took in Mamma Mia’s new set up.

The old place in Summertown’s South Parade is a firm family favourite because it’s used to all of the above on a regular basis and doesn’t bat an eyelid, which is why it’s permanently packed.

But it’s new sister on Walton Street is sleeker, cooler and more urban in comparison, and it’s therefore harder to fade into the background.

If you’ve been to the South Parade restaurant you’ll know what to expect. A brick bar, wooden tables and chairs and some good old fashioned pizza and pasta.

But instead of the big bustling room, there’s a small room at the front leading into a bigger room at the back, so the whole effect is gentler at Walton Street (or Mamma Mia 2).

And while they’ve tarted up the menu slightly, all the old favourites are there from the Mamma Mia pizza – pepperoni, beechwood smoked ham, artichoke, mushrooms, olives, peppers, onion, capers and a free range egg, all for £8.95, which obviously had Mr Greedy’s name on it because the ingredients ran on to three lines.

We also tried a margherita with ham, the lasagna (£8.95), penne pasta with bolognese , the insalata Mamma Mia (avocado, mozzarella and tomatoes,for £4.95), and the £8.95 margherita di buffala pizza. A full house.

And with that many mouths to feed, it’s good to let someone else do the cooking.

The food came amazingly quickly. We didn’t order starters because that prolongs the agony. Forgo the starters and you might even manage dessert, which is after all the most important bribery tool in a parents dining out artillery.

My Buffala pizza was magic. The soft fluffy mozzarella, fresh basil and gently roasted cherry tomatoes, being added after the pizza’s baked, meaning it’s served fresh, juicy and mouth-wateringly good to eat.

The rest of them chowed down quite happily, which in itself spoke volumes, and whenever trouble reared its ugly head, the magic words ‘ice cream sundae’ were uttered to brilliant effect.

We’d ordered adult portions for the kids so they didn’t quite manage to eat it all, but had a good try, and while the chocolate ice creams were being consumed we managed the £4.55 panna cotta – declared the best pudding ever by my 11-year-old son, and the £4.25 profiteroles which came smothered in cream and chocolate sauce, more like a knicker-bocker glory and as delicious.

Bill sorted we then meandered out into the street wanting to punch the air because we’d managed to pull it off in such spectacular fashion.

Of course the rent-o-kids disappeared as soon as we reached the car, but who cares, for a brief interlude, we felt normal. So if you want to give it a go, the Mamma Mia magic might just work for you too.

Mamma Mia Jericho, 102 Walton Street, Oxford. Call 01865 311211.