Wild Goose Chase

It was all hands on deck when we arrived at The Goose in Britwell Salome on Friday night.

A waitress was ill so the owner Paul Castle, who looks like a cross between Lovejoy and David Dickinson, had arrived to lend a hand.

He was utterly charming, handing out dishes with asides such as: “I don’t know what it is exactly but I do know it tastes nice.”

And The Goose was full to bursting, so they had their work cut out for them, as did John Footman in the kitchen.

John is another ex-Manoir chef hungry for success, who had a year at The Nut Tree in Murcott before taking over the reins at The Goose.

And my God he’s got large boots to fill, because there’s been a nuclear fall-out there over the past few months that puts Ashley and Cheryl to shame. Forget The Restaurant, if you want a real soap opera, just hang around the bar at this tiny village pub, near Watlington, because this is where it’s at.

To cut a long story short Mr Castle bought said pub and put aspiring chef Ryan Simpson in the kitchen, who then worked his toque off and was rewarded with a great big gleaming Michelin star in January.

When Mr Castle suggested toning the food down to suit the locals, Ryan packed his bags, taking all the staff with him.

Mr Castle then had to close down while finding a suitable replacement and reopened last month. Anyway, it’s all up-and-running again, but sadly the drama is still evident despite the fabulous food.

Because even though the meal was really delicious, it was so late we’d considered eating our own shoe leather by then, and had long since given up caring.

Our table was booked for 8.15pm. We were ushered into the beautifully decorated bar, given menus and a G&T and ordered.

We were then taken to our table and waited.

It was past 10pm when we got our starters and 11pm our mains.

So, however much work had been put into preparing our meal, we had given up the ghost by then, reducing us to mute and rather sulky participants who didn’t want to play.

A further £12 in babysitting fees later my veloute of jerusalem artichoke with a spinach and herb tortellini (£7) arrived and Mr Greedy’s chicken liver parfait with plum chutney and toasted brioche (£7.50).

And yes, the pasta was soft and plump and perfectly stuffed with spinach and herbs, the foamy soup gliding down the throat, and the paté was soft as baby food.

But we ate it like ravenous dogs and then waited all over again for our mains.

It’s just no fun and makes you realise that the food is nothing compared to the dining experience as a whole.

Next up, when they’d removed our tongues from the tablecloth, was the meuniere of lemon sole with parsnip purée, cockles, clams and samphire (£18) and the basil and sun-blush tomato risotto, another Manoir staple, which was classic and delicious, but not enough to reverse the tide of disappointment.

The turning point came during dessert actually, because the blood orange soufflé with bitter chocolate sorbet (£7.50) was so outrageously good it should be used as a marital aid.

Perfectly risen, the subtle fragrance of the oranges came through, the red sticky juice gathering at the base of the ramekin like blood.

The cheese (£9) was also mind-blowingly good.

So if I was a Michelin star officer what would I think?

Well, if I’d been served that food I’d be happy to keep ticking all the boxes, because John’s immense skill is evident.

But had I known how long it would take I’d have gone elsewhere, anywhere actually, where the enjoyment factor was paramount and you could eat, have a good laugh and get home by 11pm. But tweak the formula a bit and The Goose has got what it takes to stay in the good books.

Sadly my goose was cooked before we started eating.

* The Goose, Britwell Salome.

01491 612304 thegoose britwellsalome.com