Testing The Waters

KATHERINE MACALISTER enjoys the high life, while keeping an eye on the budget.

WHERE to start? The experience at Hartwell House near Thame is always so sumptuous that you emerge feeling like a footballer on payday – spoilt, relaxed and victorious.

But it’s not just about the wonderful historical hotel, the stunning grounds or the decadent spa. The food is as indulgent as the premises.

Of course, being an upmarket hotel, it’s expensive, and yet there is hope at the end of the gilded tunnel. You can still enjoy drinks on the terrace, lunch in the spa and tea on the battlements, without having to take out a second mortgage.

The old-fashioned spa restaurant has been given a new lease of life. Gone is the wicker furniture of yesteryear, more suited to Abigail’s Party than a stately home. Replaced by leather banquettes, striped upholstered chairs, tasteful prints, wooden tables and discreet service, the intimate restaurant has been transformed.

The food has also moved on from roast beef sandwiches to a much more contemporary menu, and with a wonderful terrace leading out from the restaurant, summer days are perfectly catered for.

We swam and enjoyed the spa bath, sauna and steam rooms, before emerging into the restaurant replete with white dressing gowns, and quickly vanished onto the terrace for a more discerning lunch.

ALL VERY NICE. WHAT DID YOU EAT?

As our bodies were temples for at least half a day, we opted for the healthy options of griddled organic salmon and crab fish cakes with avocado salsa (£9.95) and a make-your-own salad.

Mine included romaine, rocket and mixed leaf, toasted pinenuts, parmesan shavings, olives, avocado, beetroot, croutons and cucumber in a Caesar dressing.

And then I fell at the last hurdle and ordered chips (although I’m sure they’re called french fries here).

We enjoyed the home-made bread and green olives while we waited for our saintly but delicious meal to arrive, and sipped on glasses of sparkling water while we dined in style. We decided to have dessert after our spa treatments ( well, in for a penny in for a pound) but when we re-emerged glowing and decreased, we spotted someone having the Hartwell House tea and that was that.

We just had to have it.

So, undoing all the hard work the masseurs and magicians in the spa had weaved, we ordered the sumptuous high teas, usually taken in the main hotel.

AND HOW WAS TIFFIN?

Bliss – accompanied by a delicious cup of Earl Grey, who would have been very at home here at Hartwell House, we munched our way through the neat pile of ham, tomato and mustard mayonnaise, smoked salmon, cucumber and cream cheese and egg and cress sandwiches.

We followed these with the warm home-made plain, fruit and chocolate chip scones with strawberry preserve and Cornish clotted cream and then managed to squeeze in a selection of home-made pastries.

Of course we couldn’t then squeeze into our clothes, but that’s another matter.

This may be the only spa in the world where you actually go home heavier than when you arrived, but you will definitely be happier for it.

So take a leaf out of my book and give it a go. You won’t be disappointed.

THE BILL: Home-made bread and green olives £1.50 per person Griddled salmon and crab fish cakes with avocado salsa £9.95 Warm salads £8.50 Full afternoon tea costs £17.50 per person.