Just what is the attraction of a bar that hosts pole dancing?
Surely watching a plumber from Krakow gyrate after a hard day's graft would put any right-minded person off their dinner.
Que Pasa used to be one of the leading places in Oxford for this energetic entertainment, but when I visited on Tuesday evening the goings-on seemed rather respectable.
The last time I visited was during the World Cup of 2006, when Que Pasa was owned by Spirit Group, which has since offloaded it on to Marston's Inns and Taverns. This is a company that is given to hype that borders on the amusing. On its website, it proclaims about Que Pasa: "Vibrant, flamboyant, passionate ... Partying hard, we've bottled up the Mediterra- nean lust for life and shaken it up."
WAS THERE MUCH LUST?
No. Que Pasa was the epitome of lacklustreness.
Nothing had changed since I last dropped by - not a sign of a Marston's ale on tap; the music was the familiar middle-of-the-road ditties from way back (a member of staff turned up the volume when Madonna and Ali G started crooning Music, released in 2000); the place was decked out in the same old pseudo-Hispanic orange and brown.
Ironically, while there weren't many customers, about half seemed to be Poles.
WHAT DID YOU ORDER?
Que Pasa offers three tapas and a bottle of house wine for £13.95, but I couldn't face a whole ration of plonk, so asked for a pint of (teeth-chatteringly cold) San Miguel instead, which came to nearly the same amount.
The food arrived in about 10 minutes and although I had feared it would be dismal, it wasn't bad.
The dishes were about six inches across and the feta salad was considerably bigger than expected, with a pot of thick balsamic vinegar to boot, while the pan-fried tiger prawns on crusty bread were plump and garlicky, and the little lamb kebabs moist and tender. I'd hoped to grab some chicken too, but it was unavailable. Overall, while not cheap, I'd say the tapas represented the level of value you'd get in somewhere like the Kazbar as the portions were larger.
The bar staff seemed polite if not overly chatty.
WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH QUE PASA?
You only have to see Bar Med's empty shell in nearby St Ebbe's to know time is running out for a tapas bar that's past its sell-by date - especially as La Tasca at Oxford Castle does a cheap deal option too.
There are four options for Marston's: Modernise, perhaps by creating a generic North African eatery Rebrand the premises as a Pitcher and Piano, with upmarket brews Go downmarket by introducing stripshows Sell the property.
VERDICT: The best time to visit is Wednesdays after 6pm, when you can get three bottles of beer for £4.95.
Then go somewhere else.
THE BILL Lamb kebabs £3.95 Feta salad £2.95 Tiger prawns £3.95 Pint San Miguel £2.85 TOTAL: £13.70
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