"Haven't you already reviewed Pizza Express?" I hear you ask.

How many times can you review the same chain?

Well, actually, as often as Pizza Express keeps opening restaurants, is the answer, as no two are the same. Pizza Express in Bicester perches uneasily on the main road in the town centre and just doesn't really seem to fit in.

And I don't think it's just me, because, every time I've been there we've been the only people eating. That's not to say it isn't nice, but eating in an empty restaurant is a funny thing.

You feel as exposed as Judy Finnegan's bra at the TV awards. And if the service isn't 100 per cent, you notice.

SO HOW WAS THE FOOD?

Pizza Express' culinary standards vary little from place to place and the menu is continually updated. I tried one of the new Romano pizzas, which uses the same amount of dough as the normal pizzas, but spread thinner, so the base is crispier.

The £8.95 Campo di Fioro - artichokes with creamy mozzarella, black olives, fresh parsley and a scattering of onion was delicious, and the £8.95 Il Padrino - chicken with rustic tomatoes, chargrilled vegetables and a sauce of tomatoes and pesto - disappeared pretty sharpish.

BUT DID YOU ENJOY IT?

Did we linger over our meal, toy with the idea of dessert or opt for another glass of wine, which is after all, how restaurants make their money?

No, because there was no point. When you feel like a goldfish in a bowl, lingering isn't a priority.

And while there is certainly more to a good restaurant than nice food, short of purchasing a bulk order of cardboard cut-outs, Pizza Express in Bicester needs to encourage more customers.