Wacky surroundings and a fine array of pizzas don’t stop KATHERINE MACALISTER suffering from a touch of food envy

Food envy is a terrible thing. It can ravage you, reducing you to a wingeing Pom in seconds, complete with teenage sulks and a quivering bottom lip, invoking the kind of jealousy that makes Chris Huhne’s ex-wife look like a saint. It’s a make-or-break meal deal, drying up conversation like a watering hole during a heatwave, and it struck on my night in Atomic Pizza.

I’ve been dying to go there for ages, ever since visiting it’s sister restaurant Atomic Burger further down the Cowley Road last year, with which I am still in love/lust/ greed.

Atomic Pizza is as brilliant, and the 10 teenagers we brought along for the ride are still raving about it. But once bitten twice shy because I knew what to expect – it was requited love. And perhaps once you’ve been on the scariest fairground ride, you can never recreate the high, because while the same wacky formula is applied at Atomic Pizza, it’s not as overwhelming; more restaurant, less rollercoaster ride.

Externally Atomic Pizza is as nuts as expected – complete with a migraine inducing colour scheme and comic book wallpaper. On the inside it’s the usual mix of trolls, Star Wars figures, a full family-size version of The Simpsons, various childhood boy action figures and Thunderbirds on the screen, plus a menu which includes popping candy milkshakes, Atomic Fallout hot sauce and marshmallows to toast yourself. So far, so similar, all good. Except Atomic Pizza is three times the size of Atomic Burger so its décor is that bit more diluted.

The staff couldn’t have been friendlier, bounding up to seat us. We nabbed the last table in the place while endless people turned up looking hopefu,l as if to demonstrate how popular it is. And with an 8/10 strength Bloody Mary complete with tequila, and a plate of nachos to get the party started, (gorgeous, generous and home-made without any of that packeted Tex Mex gloop) I was as happy as the proverbial pig.

Pizza next of course. I had to. How can I review a pizza restaurant without trying the pizza? And while it says Atomic Pizza on the door, the secret is that you can get the burgers here too.

The pizzas were good – and we sampled a ridiculous variety – from the He-Man (BBQ pulled pork, white onion, mozzarella and a BBQ base £9.45) and Xena (meatball slices, parmesan, onion, marinara sauce, mozz) to my Mighty Mouse (five cheeses £8.95).

But I was sitting opposite two burger eaters and as they munched and moaned their way through their Dead Elvis (Swiss cheese, American cheese, bacon & onion) and the Dolly Parton (double stacked burger, double American cheese, jalapenos & bacon) like something out of Debbie Does Dallas, it hit me that my pizza didn’t make me groan. With this realisation came a lump in my throat, choking tears and a wobbly chin. The diagnosis of course was simple: I had food envy, here of all places. I wanted a burger.

There’s only one way to rectify that of course. I have to go back and devour the Frito Bandito burger (grated cheese, salsa, guacamole and sour cream) as if it’s my last meal on earth. Like an alcoholic who’s fallen off the wagon, the craving is too strong to fight. So there we have it, the Pizza Queen felled by a burger. Shot down in flames. The irony.

Atomic Pizza is at 247 Cowley Road, Oxford.
Call 01865 248200
see atomicpizzas.co.uk or email oxford@ atomicpizzas.co.uk