It's been a hell of a year for Jim Davidson. Declared bankrupt, he's faced the taxman, been shot down in a helicopter in Iraq and just returned from Kosovo.
But is he worrying about tax returns or bullet wounds? No, curry is his preoccupation. Sick of eating hotel sandwiches and service station fodder, he's bringing his own pots and pans on this tour, buying local produce on route and cooking for the crew every night.
"I hate staying in hotels," he grumbles. "They're all geared up for the pin-striped suit brigade, but we get up too late for breakfast, are on the way to the next gig during lunch, and on stage for supper.
"We're even bringing our own oven along and if we're hungry after the gig, we'll cook our own curry in the hotel car park."
So where's he staying? "The Randolph," he says, cracking up.
There's never a dull moment when Jim Davidson's around, but the former host of TV greats like The Generation Game and Big Break, has moved to Dubai to take a step back from the tabloid headlines.
He says only the Brits recognise him, as to the locals "I'm just a small ginger bloke with bad sunburn".
The things that matter to him - his charity the British Forces Foundation (he was given an OBE in 2001 for his services to charity), his fans, his kids and making people laugh - are what motivate him.
So did the bankruptcy hit him hard?
"I had a tax bill of £2.5m to settle and had paid most of it off, but had £800,000 left, which I thought was pretty good going in two years. I asked them to do a deal but they said they wanted it all now.
"I offered them £400,000 but they wouldn't take it, so now I'm bankrupt. I was repaying everyone - when you add up the kids' school fees and maintenance that's £2,000 a week before I've even got out of bed," the 52-year-old says gloomily.
Well, he has been married four times. But let's talk about something more cheery.
How was Kosovo? He laughs. "It was great. I took James Blunt and Katherine Jenkins with me and we invited some of the Kosovan civilians into the audience - Jim the diplomat, who'd have thought? - and the new material went down really well because soldiers have got a sick sense of humour."
So any insights? "No, but for the first time I'm taking political correctness by the throat and wringing it's neck," he says with satisfaction.
I'm amazed he went back, though, after being shot down over Iraq. "It was only down to the pilot dodging two missiles that we didn't crash. But I can't comment on that because I'm apolitical when I'm there. I'm just there to entertain Her Majesty's armed forces, from the generals to the grunts.
"We wanted to go to Afghanistan, but they're just too busy out there."
Is he going back this Christmas? "No, I'm doing panto in Dartford, which is even more dangerous," he giggles. "Dartford is twinned with Basra, you know."
And what about his fans? Is it out of sight out of mind?
"I sold twice as many videos last year as the year before because I'm not on the TV any more. The perception of me is still different to the real me, because in black and white my material looks horrifying.
"But I got this really good write-up in The Independent recently, which said I was the best alternative comedian around. And the fans still love it - lots of the gigs have sold out already.
"What I like most is the people in the audience who have been dragged along. That's the best challenge."
Jim Davidson will be appearing at the New Theatre on Sunday. The box office is on 0870 6063500.
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