From poverty-stricken single mum to student and performance poet, Rowan Padmore shows just what can be done with grit and determination. Jaine Blackman reports
When you are following your dream there are often sacrifices to be made... something that Rowan Padmore knows all too well.
“I gave up my job, my home and gave away all of my furniture and possessions to come and study here,” said Rowan, 42, who started her course in Writing For Performance at Oxford’s Ruskin College in October.
Before adding quickly: “I am so pleased that I did.”
Like many women, Rowan, who is from Lancaster, Lancashire, put her own career ambitions on hold when her children were younger.
As a teenager she acted and performed with Lancaster Youth Theatre, and became a youth worker assisting in the running of various arts projects.
By the time she was 21 she had two sons – Zak and Finn – but split up from their father when her youngest was six months old.
“It didn’t stop me working, in fact I took my son Finn to youth theatre with me only days after he was born. I was often found directing and performing in plays with a baby strapped in a sling and a toddler running riot,” says Rowan. “It wasn’t easy but I loved it. I went on to be the first chair of The National Association Of Youth Theatres Youth Committee and travelled to perform in New York and Australia as well as throughout Britain.”
However, as her children got older she found that it became impossible to take them to rehearsals.
“There wasn’t the money for childcare and it became impossible to fit everything around school hours. I prioritised my children over my career and took a step back,” she says. “It was hard to know what to do next. I was bringing up two boys alone and without any money I found it hard to consider the future.”
Rowan spent a year doing access courses at college but didn’t feel she could manage going on to university, studying full time and looking after her still young children.
“I felt frustrated and trapped by my poverty,” she says.
So she took what work she could find that would fit around her sons’ school day.
“I worked as a life model for local artists and institutions during school hours and at weekends when they saw their father I worked on the door of nightclubs and events.”
Then, seven years ago she began working as a teaching assistant at the primary school her sons had previously attended.
“I found that I loved working there, and really enjoyed using my skills again after such a long break.”
She took an NVQ as she wanted to become more qualified and although she found the study rather dull (“It was mostly ticking boxes”) it did make her reconsider education and think about finding a course.
And although her time at the school was “mostly wonderful” when eldest son Zak left home to go to university it dawned on her that soon Finn would follow. “I felt I needed to start carving out a new life for myself but wasn't sure how,” she says.
What she did was write a poem (“I’d had the idea for ages and one day I sat down and it just came out”) and took it along to a local literary cabaret evening to perform.
“They liked it so much that they invited me to come back as a paid performer the following month,” she sayd.
“I didn’t tell them that I only had the one poem and spent the next month writing lots more.”
From then on she got more gigs and has performed (as Miss P) at events as wildly different as Morecambe Kite Festival and local punk gigs upstairs in a pub.
During this time Rowan was looking for a course to study involving writing and came across Writing for Performance at Ruskin.
“The course seemed to be made for me. It combined writing plays, screenplays, poetry, song lyrics and comedy with the practical skills one needs to survive as a writer,” she says. “I was delighted when following my interview I was offered a place.
“By chance I watched the envelope fall through my letterbox with a friend and then cried with relief and excitement when I saw that I had gained a place. It seemed like a dream that I was going to be able to study fulltime in Oxford and I received a bursary to support me.”
Over the next six months Rowan realised that as she would be living in halls she would have no room for her furniture and other belongings.
“So I decided to give everything away,” she says. “I began to photograph my possessions and put the photos on Facebook asking if anyone wanted them. I gave away everything from my Hoover to my bed only hanging onto my clothes, shoes and a few personal items.
“I couldn’t bring myself to give away my books so they are stored in a variety of my friends’ attics until the time that I have a house to live in again.
“I now live in my single study bedroom with just the books I need for my course, some clothes and other bits and pieces.
“When I leave university I will be starting again from scratch but I have found it strangely liberating to own very little. I have been so supported by friends and family that I have no regrets at all.
“It was difficult at Christmas as I no longer have a home for my children to come to but we spent a few days together at my mum and my dad’s, which was fine.
“My children have been wonderful about the move; they know how important it was to me and have supported me all the way. They realise that me having no real base for them to come to is only temporary and we will muddle through for as long as necessary.
“I have a brilliant relationship with my sons and feel very lucky to have created two amazing, intelligent, kind and generous young men.”
Zak graduated in 2013 from Manchester Metropolitan with a first In Sociology and is now merchandise manager at The Warehouse Project in Manchester and Finn is in his first year at University of West England studying Bio Medical Science.
For all her courage Rowan still admits to being “terribly nervous” in her first few days but quickly settled in to college life.
“I have made friends of all ages here at Ruskin ranging from 18 to 72,” she says. “The standard of teaching and the support here is incredible. Many of my fellow students, like me have not studied for years but we are helped at every stage by the tutors and lecturers.”
Rowan is performing her poetry at local events, is a student governor at the college and has set up Ruskin Arts Society encouraging students to enjoy local arts events together.
“Being a student has changed my life for the better and allowed me to consider my future career in a way that I could not before,” says Rowan.
“I have always had the appearance of confidence but I feel that deep down I am beginning to believe in myself now and the future is looking exciting.”
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