So men are apparently doing more housework. A good thing, right? Not for Annette Cunningham

I wonder how many men today, and over this Valentine’s weekend, will smugly announce to the lady in their life: “I’ve tidied up the kitchen for you darling.”

There appears to be two very different ways of how we women receive such a grand gesture of romance.

Some would float dreamily for several moments, snug in a warm glow of genuine appreciation. Others however, would immediately feel their heckles rise, and with boiling blood need every single ounce of their being to stop themselves screaming: “What the hell do you mean, you’ve tidied the bloody kitchen for ME?”

Believe me, I get it. If you’re in a modern relationship where you are both working and go Dutch on the bills – then surely you get to go Dutch on the housework too?

It certainly sounds reasonable enough and the kind of situation you might imagine everyone would want and expect. But here’s where I might make some enemies because I am not one of those people. I like the traditional gender roles and I’m happy to keep them. Research suggests that women are still left doing the bulk of the housework. An international study, conducted by the Economic and Social Research Council funded centre for Time Use Research at Oxford analysed diary days of 20 to 59-year olds in 16 countries.They discovered that yes, we are on a journey towards scrubbing brush equality – but it may be around the year 2050 before it is truly achieved. But are women really lumbered with the housework or do we in fact perform most routine daily tasks willingly?

Believe me, I am no domestic goddess dedicated to obsessively clearing up and catching every speck of dust before it has a chance to land. To be honest, as Erma Bombeck, American humorist, famously declared, I would really prefer to sweep the room with a glance rather than a broom any day. And I can’t help noticing that frustratingly, to get anything clean you have to get something else dirty. It’s just never ending.

Yet, despite the fact that my efforts to clean and tidy last only until about 30 seconds after my two teenagers arrive home – spill themselves, the contents of several bags and half the interior of the fridge over the sofa – I do somehow get a kick out of doing the housework. I find there’s something immensely satisfying about grooming your home and making it a pleasure for everyone to return to, however temporarily your efforts last.

I do have a theory that this attitude is linked directly to age, and that rapidly approaching 50 I am possibly one of the last generation of women to own this sentiment. I worked in an office where most of my female colleagues were at least ten years younger than me. Each and every one of them had a man that cooked, cleaned and always prepared their lunchbox for work. They considered this completely normal. Being single at the time, I have to admit that I did feel pangs of envy. The joke became that I too needed to find a man that would want to prepare me a daily Tupperware box brimming with avocado salad.

Then I did. It didn’t last long. It just didn’t feel right. My femininity felt threatened.

I heard a woman around my age on the bus last week explain to her friend that she had to work late but that her husband needn’t worry: “I’m a good wifey,” she proudly exclaimed. “I cooked his dinner last night, all he needs to do is heat it up.”

I’m with her. Some of us don’t feel unfairly burdened with doing the lion’s share of the housework, we simply enjoy expressing our love by being good wifeys and don’t feel that wearing the apron is in any way demeaning.

Sociologists have used data from an European Social Survey which compares the lifestyles of people across seven countries, including the UK. They expected to discover that in relationships where men carried out a larger share of the housework that the women’s happiness levels would be higher. They actually found that it was the men that felt happier. Experts suggested that this was actually because one, they felt less guilty and two, because they had also learnt the secret of leading a quiet life. Some women must shout loudly about how to divvy up the tasks.

But personally I’m more than happy to load the dishwasher and keep his sock drawer replenished. In the meantime he can put the bins out and the shelves up.

Domestic bliss.