Divorce can be tough enough with the kids, the house and the money to sort out.

Now, according to divorce lawyers, more and more couples are fighting over the family pet.

Ursula Rice, of Summertown-based solicitors and mediators Family First, said: “You’d be surprised how often it comes up. “It’s as emotional for the people involved as though they were talking about their children.

“It produces very strong feelings.” Despite lengthy negotiations, one couple couldn’t agree who should get custody of their koi carp, Ursula says.

The fish were eventually handed to the RSPCA, who re-housed them in an ornamental pond in Oxford. S

he also recently dealt with a childless couple in their 70s, who couldn’t agree which of them should have the dog. Ursula said: “While the husband was telling me he had to keep the dog, he had tears in his eyes and I could really sense his distress.”

Another major flashpoint is who will pay for vet’s bills and the cost of feeding a pet. The bigger the animal, the more they eat and that often impacts on financial settlements. In one case, an income claim of £5,000 per month against a spouse included £1,000 for upkeep of the woman’s horse.

When couples go to war over animals, there may have been a problem before the marriage crumbles.

Ursula explained: “It’s not unusual for pets to be a source of tension in the marriage. “Typically, this would be the ‘You like that dog more than you like me’ type-of-thing.”

Some couples share residency and arrange for a dog to spend half the week with one partner and half with the other but this is not practical for most.

Caroline Friend, of Focus Mediation in Cornmarket Street, specialises in helping couples sit down together and resolve issues without having to go to court.

When it comes to fighting over pets, she has found most hostilities centre around dogs and cats. One couple had grown-up children who had flown the nest.

She explained: “All they had left was the dog and they each felt it impossible to imagine life without their pet. “In the end, the animal went with the woman who was staying in the family home, because they felt he would be less upset by their divorce if he was in familiar surroundings.

“They agreed the husband would come and take the dog for walks at the weekend.”

In another case, someone came and removed a tank of goldfish from a garage without their former partner’s permission, sparking a full-scale row.

Of course, as Caroline pointed out, when people separate they often find they are struggling on less money and are only too glad for their partner to take on the cost of the family pet.

Christine Plew, of Botley Road-based Blake Lapthorn, says one of the biggest issues is people want to get away from their partner but don’t want to abandon their animal.

She pointed out: “If there’s a pet involved, they have to talk to the other person about the arrangements for looking after it.

“Often they don’t want to do that, they just want to leave. Or, they don’t trust the other partner to look after the animal properly.

“They worry that something dear to them will be used as a bargaining chip. “Maybe the partner won’t let them walk the dog. Or they worry the animal is not being fed or groomed properly.”

Christine has had cases where a wife has moved out of the family home and her husband has sold her horse without telling her.

Her firm recently had a letter from a client worried whether her ex-partner was looking after their cats well enough. “We advised the person to discreetly find out from neighbours and if they couldn’t make any progress that way that we would write to the partner.

“I think the fact that pets have become much more a central part of people’s lives means there is so much more at stake.”

Family lawyer and mediator Alexandra Lewis says there’s a psychological angle to fighting over pets. “Most people want to act in their pet’s best interests but sometimes they are so upset at the break-up that they are unable to put their pet first,” she says.

“And they are worried their pet will be used as a pawn or a punishment. “For a period of time, most people see the worst, rather than the best, in their partner and most actions are perceived to be done maliciously, whether they have been or not.

“When you are feeling emotionally insecure and abandoned, your pets can be a huge source of comfort, so you don’t want to lose them at that crucial time. I helped one couple who arranged for the dog to live with one partner but the other partner would go to their house and walk the dog during the day and pay towards its upkeep, even though it was a clean break on everything else.

“The moral way to deal with a break-up is to act in the pet’s best interest and ask which adult is going to meet his or her needs better?”